The Portal of Destiny
by Maralexa
Summary: Two Jedi plus an epic portal equals uncertainty, adventure, and a whole lot of comedy. Where it leads, no one knows. Undiscovered worlds of epic proportions will be the ride of a lifetime for Anakin Skywalker and perhaps a bit too much for poor Obi-Wan...
1. And so it begins

**And so it begins…**

**Greetings and salutations! Welcome to my second-ever fanfic, _The Portal of Destiny_. I'm Maralexa—I'm sure most of you know me from my increasingly-famous fanfic entitled _Pwning and Gaming_. A few might remember _The Jedi at Hogwarts_, which I deleted because I felt it wasn't going anywhere. So, if you don't count the epic failure that was my first fanfic, then this would be considered my second. As I stated in _Pwning and Gaming_, I seek your reviews, comments, and ideas. Be sure to let me know how you feel about this fic, because I do _not_ want another repeat of _The Jedi at Hogwarts_. Just saying. So, without further ado, I give you _The Portal of Destiny_!**

* * *

"Master. Master. Master. Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan. Obi. Obi. Obi. Obi. Obi. Hey you. You with the face. Dude." Anakin Skywalker gazed at his former mentor intensely, continuing to nag the poor guy in an obnoxious tone. "Obi-Wan. Kenobi. Kenobi. Kenobi. Master!"

Obi-Wan Kenobi, who had been trying to meditate and tune Anakin out, finally snapped. "_What_?"

Anakin grinned. "Hi."

Obi-Wan facepalmed. "Was that all you wanted, Anakin?"

"That depends. Did it annoy you?" Anakin asked hopefully.

"_What do you think?_" the normally-calm Jedi Master demanded.

Anakin laughed. "Then yes, that was all I wanted."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and focused on becoming one with the Force again. "If that's it, then I'd like it if you leave me be. I almost never get quiet time anymore. It will not be long before I have to go on another life-threatening mission in this Force-forsaken war."

Anakin sighed and sat down beside Obi-Wan, imitating his relaxed posture and focused mind. It wasn't long before the Jedi Knight was tired of it. "How is it that you Jedi Masters can sit down and be boring for this long? It'd drive me crazy to hold still and do…whatever it is you are doing." Obi-Wan did not open his eyes or acknowledge anything his former padawan was saying. Anakin shrugged and continued, "It must take major skill. I could never do it. Is it an art?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "It is simply part of being a Jedi, Anakin. You must listen to the Force. Feel it above you, below you, around you. Let it speak to you. The Force will reveal things that will help you, if you open your mind, and—"

The Jedi Master's lecture was interrupted by a yawn from Anakin. "Are you done yet? Because I stopped listening when you told me that I must listen."

"I said you must listen to the _Force_," Obi-Wan corrected him.

"So I don't have to listen to you? Cool."

Obi-Wan pulled himself to his feet. "I give up. I'll never get any meditation in with your irksome chatter. And to think I would actually get some rest today."

"Oh, quit complaining. My original intention was to ask you to come with me and Ahsoka on an important mission." His expression was completely serious. "I saw you meditating and couldn't resist the urge to annoy you. Not my fault. It's just the way I'm wired."

"Dare I ask what the important mission is, Anakin?" Obi-Wan prompted.

Anakin maintained his serious façade of seriousness. "I am leading an expedition…to Dexter's Diner. Business is in jeopardy, and it is up to us to embark on an epic quest to balance the—Hey, where are you going? This is a matter of grave importance!"

"I'm sure. If you need me, I will be asking the Council for a _real_ mission. This war demands constant focus and availability. We have no time to fool around with trivial matters."

Anakin shrugged. "I needed to get out anyway. I'll go with you."

Inwardly, Obi-Wan was perfectly happy with having his closest companion with him. He certainly had no objection to Anakin joining him on a mission. However, he kept a look of stern irritation in order to keep from losing face. He did not want Anakin to know that he had won him over with his quirky cockiness.

The Council was not in session at the moment, so the pair sought out the nearest Jedi Master for instructions. Sure enough, they stumbled across Masters Plo Koon, Yoda, Kit Fisto, and Mace Windu. The four were discussing whatever it was that Masters talked about during a time of war and destruction. Plo was the first to notice the newcomers. He stepped aside to give them room to join the discussion.

"Hello, Master Kenobi," the Kel Dor Master greeted him.

Mace, Kit, and Yoda turned at the mention of Obi-Wan's name. As the rest of the Order did, the four Masters respected Kenobi deeply for his calm determination, humility, and connection with the Force. All of their expectant gazes were on Obi-Wan, which irked Anakin immensely.

"Hey there," he said, trying to get them to notice him.

Plo nodded in Anakin's direction. "Hello, young Skywalker." He turned back to Obi-Wan. "Do you need something?"

Before Obi-Wan could reply, Kit smiled at Anakin and said, "What up?"

Anakin grinned. "Finally. Sometimes I feel that you Masters avoid me."

Kit's eyes widened innocently. "Moi? You are too awesome to ignore, my friend. Your awesomeness is inferior to only one." Anakin raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "Me," Kit said, answering the Jedi Knight's nonverbal question. At a sharp glance from Yoda, Kit quickly added, "Okay, two. There are only _two_ beings that are above you in the status of awesomeness."

Yoda chuckled. "Good recovery, my former padawan. Taught you well, I have."

Plo frowned thoughtfully. "It is difficult to measure…awesomeness…Master Fisto. You must consider many things before you can determine a Jedi's status or level of it."

Obi-Wan sighed, slightly annoyed. "We came here with a point, Anakin."

Anakin held his hands up in submission. "Hey, now. Kit Fisto is a Master. If he wants to talk about awesomeness, then let him. You are no higher in rank than he is."

"Obi-Wan is right, Skywalker," Mace said, his calculating gaze hard but not unfriendly. "We have no time to mess around. There are many things at stake here."

Anakin wanted to argue that Kit and Plo were part of the "awesomeness" discussion, too. Why did Master Windu have to get on him all the time? He wasn't an apprentice anymore. Though he wanted to make a sharp remark, he held his tongue and dipped his head. "I apologize, Master."

Mace nodded curtly and turned to Obi-Wan. "You wanted a word with us, Master Kenobi?"

Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes. Anakin and I currently have nothing to do. Considering there is _always_ something to be done during a war, we came here to seek a mission of sorts. Anything that will help the Republic. I am sure there are plenty of negotiations to take care of—"

"—and battle droids to slice n' dice," Anakin finished.

Kit chuckled. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

Mace ignored the pair's immaturity for the time being. "I am sure there is something for you to do. Wait a moment, and we will rejoin you shortly."

Anakin turned to his former Master. "I hope this isn't another pointless dispute on some remote planet."

"Everything we can do for the Republic is appreciated," Obi-Wan said. "One day, you will understand this."

"It certainly is, Master Jedi," a new voice said. Anakin tried not to light up at the sight of a pair of senators walking toward them. Bail Organa and Padmé Amidala were approaching with their usual masks of composed diplomacy. Captain Rex was behind them. The speaker, Padmé, kept her gaze carefully neutral. "A diplomatic solution is crucial to ending this awful war. Settling those 'pointless disputes' is key to taking steps in the right direction." She glanced at her companion. "When will the session begin?"

Bail glanced at the time. "Shortly. We should go now so we can meet with some of the other senators beforehand. It was nice seeing you, Master Kenobi. You two, Master Skywalker."

The senators left as quickly as they had arrived, only to be replaced by Ahsoka Tano. "Hey, Sky Guy," she said, addressing Anakin. "What's the plan for today?"

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "Obi-Wan and I are going on a mission. _You_, on the other hand, need to get back to your studies."

Ahsoka crossed her arms. "But _you_ said that Jedi learn the most by going into action. I've been studying all day! I need a break."

Before Anakin could answer, he felt a sudden tremor in the Force. He glanced at Obi-Wan who, judging by his expression, felt it as well. The two Jedi rushed into the room they had just left, using their Force sensitivity to determine where the disturbance was coming from. Ahsoka and Rex followed curiously. The padawan felt a slight shift in the balance of things, but she had not quite developed the advanced sensitivity that Obi-Wan and Anakin possessed. Rex, of course, had no clue what was compelling the Jedi toward the small room.

Anakin and Obi-Wan burst into the room first. They both gasped, surprised, as they felt a wave of energy pulling them into the center of the room. The last thing they saw and remembered was a pinkish glow, and then nothing.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the super-epic-awesomeness that is Star Wars.**


	2. Eww it's too cute!

**Hello, hello! Left a little cliffhanger there, didn't I? I'm really excited about this new fic. Hope everyone likes it! It seems to be going well so far.**

**AaylaKit: I see you have found my new fanfic! *ducks* Wow, that was close. Looks like I'd better update more often or I'll be pummeled with dates! Anyways, I'm glad you like Anakin. He truly is awesomer than Yoda, though Yoda _is_ pretty awesome.**

**Ayy Kaim: Feel free to squeal. Kit IS awesome. I wasn't originally going to have him in this story very much, but now I can't resist after your excited squeal. Keep an eye out for him. :D**

* * *

Many images flashed across Anakin's field of vision during the time of darkness. He saw himself as a boy in a podracer, getting slammed by the Dug Sebulba. He saw Padmé smiling at him. Her face was a bit blurry, but Anakin could not mistake her pretty eyes and warm smile. His heart twisted when the image of Padmé was replaced by his mother. He reached out to touch her, but the picture disappeared quickly. Anakin wondered distantly if he was dreaming.

Obi-Wan was having a similar experience, though his images were very different. They mostly consisted of Qui-Gon Jinn, his former Master. Jar Jar appeared as well, seeming to trip over everything. The clumsy Gungan brought a smile to Kenobi's face—a smile that instantly diminished at the sight of the next image. Darth Maul. Obi-Wan wasn't dreaming. He was having a nightmare!

Suddenly, the images disappeared. Both Jedi were once again surrounded by darkness. Anakin wasn't sure how much time had passed before he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a pink furry face two inches from his own. "Hi!" it said.

Anakin used the Force to push it away in one fluid motion. He sprang to his feet and reached to ignite his lightsaber. It was gone. Anakin slid into a battle stance and stared down the pink thing that had surprised him. He hadn't intended to hurt it. Anyone who knows anything understands that one must _never_ startle a Jedi if they want to keep their heads on their bodies. Usually, Jedi are very attentive to their surroundings and can therefore predict things before they happen. It is _very_ difficult to startle a Jedi. When it happens, though—especially to Anakin—bad things result.

The little pink creature pulled itself to its feet. It looked a bit like a mixture of a Teddy Bear and an Ewok. Except, of course, its color was unusual for both. Its eyes were wide with surprise, but it did not seem to mind in the slightest that Anakin had knocked it to the ground. "Violence is forbidden here," it scolded in a high, sweet voice that made Anakin want to puke. It sounded distinctly female, but you can never tell with unfamiliar species.

"Did you take my lightsaber?" Anakin demanded.

"This?" She took out the weapon and turned it over in her hands. "After much study, we have confirmed that it is very dangerous. It must be destroyed."

"You'd better not!" Anakin shouted. He lunged for his lightsaber, but something grabbed his leg, tripping him. He faceplanted, initiating snorts from creatures around him. When he lifted his head, he saw that he was surrounded by beings very similar to the one who had stolen his weapon. They were a variety of colors: pink, purple, red, orange, yellow, blue…any bright color you could think of. "Listen to me," Anakin said quietly, addressing the pink thing standing in front of him. "You'd better give me my lightsaber _right this second_ or I'll choke the life out of you. Understand? I've got the capability to destroy you all and I'm not afraid to use it."

The pink thing took a step back. "He's a baddie!" she shrieked.

Anakin got to his feet and held out his hand, focusing on choking the pink thing. It dropped the lightsaber and put its hands to its throat, making a weird whistling sound. He let go of her and held out his hand to pull his lightsaber to him. Before he had the chance, though, he felt a stabbing pain in his neck. One of the things had shot a dart at him. His vision clouded and his head spun. Everything started spinning. The last thing he remembered was a bunch of weird-shaped colorful things rushing toward him.

* * *

Obi-Wan's head hurt when he woke up. He pulled himself into a sitting position and looked around. He was lying on a soft substance that felt like a cushion. It had the comfort of a pillow, yet the solidness of your everyday household floor. He realized that the entire surface of the planet he was on seemed to consist of this soft-hard material. He was surrounded by flowers of all different colors and butterfly-type things flew around him, seemingly happy to see him.

"Where am I?" the Jedi Master asked. He realized with a jolt that his lightsaber was missing. _Anakin will never let me hear the end of this one,_ he thought. Anakin. Where was he? Obi-Wan looked around quickly, but there was no sign of his friend. There were, however, many signs of life. The creatures seemed to have appeared out of thin air. They looked very cuddly and friendly. Obi-Wan noted that though they were different colors, they all looked identical. Their expressions were wary.

"Welcome to Floracand," one of them said in Basic. "I am Frina." Frina was fluffy, pink, and quite adorable. "I believe these are yours?" She held up a pair of lightsabers.

"Why, yes. They must of fallen out of my belt. Thank you, my friend." He held out his hand to take the weapons from the creature, hoping she wouldn't ignite them and hurt herself.

The creature pulled away and took several steps back. "You cannot have these. They are too dangerous. They must be thrown into the Volcano."

"Excuse me?" Obi-Wan took a breath, deciding to handle this with as much tact as possible. They might know where Anakin was, so he certainly didn't want to offend them. "I need my lightsaber," he said calmly. "It is a Jedi's weapon. I use it to defend myself."

"You need no defense here," Frina said. "This is a peaceful planet. Violence and weapons are forbidden." She frowned and surveyed him. "_You_ are not violent, are you?"

Obi-Wan shook his head. "Of course not. I am a Jedi—a keeper of the peace. We do not harm innocent beings like yourselves."

Frina nodded. "Come with me, then." Her sweet voice had lost all traces of uncertainty. "Come with us to the Valley of Beauty!"

Obi-Wan followed. There were flowers and butterflies everywhere. Anakin would hate this place. He hoped his friend was okay. He sensed Anakin's presence, but he had no way of telling if his former padawan was safe.

"Welcome to the Valley," Frina said. "We have no rules here except for one: No violence. Our Chief would like to meet with you."

"I would be honored to meet with him," Obi-Wan said.

Frina raised an eyebrow. "You are nothing like your friend." Before Obi-Wan could ask her about Anakin, she disappeared into a cave. It was made entirely out of candy and pretty plants. A larger version of Frina emerged. It was made up of all the colors of the rainbow.

"Hello there," Obi-Wan said, bowing. "I am Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"Greetings," the creature said. "I am Manieu, the Guardian of this place. We have never had visitors before, but we are very welcoming."

"I am grateful for your hospitality," Obi-Wan began, "but I need to ask two things of you." The Chief nodded for him to continue. "First, you have my lightsaber. I would like it back."

"I cannot grant you that," Manieu said. "Weapons are forbidden here. We embrace all that is cute and only the ways of cuteness."

Obi-Wan tried to keep a straight face. The ways of _cuteness_? Anakin would definitely vomit if he was here. "You must give them back to me," he said. "That weapon is my life. It is the weapon of a Jedi. I promise I will keep it in my belt while I am here."

"I am sorry. The weapons are scheduled for destruction in a few hours."

"But you said you are against violence!" Obi-Wan objected. "Isn't destruction forbidden here?"

"We must throw violent things into the Volcano." Manieu turned away. "Please enjoy yourself. You can talk to anything here. Listen to the music of the winds and the chatter of my children. They love you as they love each other."

Obi-Wan _had_ noticed the music echoing around the planet ever since he had woken up. It was high and sweet and extremely annoying. It had a cheerful tone that would annoy Anakin to no end. Oh—he had forgotten about Anakin. "Chief Manieu?" Obi-Wan followed the Chief, intercepting him at the cave entrance. "Do you have my companion? We got separated."

"Frina will take you to your friend." The little pink thing nodded in affirmation. "Enjoy your stay, Obi-Wan." He retreated into the cave.

"Come with me, Obi!" she said. They walked to another cave. This one was pink and purple. When Obi-Wan touched it, he noted that it was very soft. When they went inside, Frina said, "Mister baddie-pants! You have a visitor."

Anakin was sitting against the wall. Obi-Wan gasped, noticing that his friend was tied up. "Hey, Master. What's up?"

"Anakin! What happened?"

"I, erm…tried aggressive negotiations with the folk here. _Didn't_ work out as I hoped." He shut his eyes tightly. "Obi-Wan, we've _got_ to get out of here. That cheerful music is about to make my head explode!"

"We came to him with love, and he came with violence," Frina explained.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Will you ever learn? I suppose I have to bail you out of this one." He turned to Frina. "Are you going to let him go?"

She shook her head. "No. He is to go with the weapons. Into the Volcano."

Anakin's eyes widened. "The kriff I am! If I had my lightsaber…"

"Anakin, we will not attack these people. Frina, you must let him go. Killing him is not the answer."

"Chief Manieu ordered that the violence be vanquished immediately. I'm sorry, Obi. Why don't you come and have some floral juice? It is very delicious."

Obi-Wan sighed and waved his hand. "You will let Anakin go."

She blinked. "I will let Anakin go." She delicately untied the Jedi Knight, then faced Obi-Wan again.

Anakin stood up and stretched. "Thank you. You're finally starting to pay me back for all the times I saved your life."

"Don't remind me. I suppose I'd better go convince the Chief to give us our lightsabers back."

"Where will we go from there?" Anakin asked.

"We'll figure that out when we've gotten our weapons." They walked out of the cave, instantly surrounded by the little cuddly things.

"We love you!" one of them said.

"Hug me!" another piped up.

"I puke," Anakin mumbled.

"Be nice," Obi-Wan murmured back.

"You two have come on the day of the Hugging Festival! You must help us prepare," a blue one said. He turned to the one who had asked Anakin to hug him. "Wait until the festival begins. Then we will begin the Day of Hugging."

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and mentally counted to ten. Anakin, who knew Obi-Wan better than anyone, was the only one who felt that the Jedi Master was _this close_ to totally losing it. The cheerful music, the Hugging Festival, the high-pitched voices…wow, no wonder Obi-Wan was about to blow his top. Anakin had reached his breaking point a long time ago.

"Let's get our lightsabers," Anakin said. This time, _he_ was the one who was calm and collected. For the most part. He'd already exploded and picked up the pieces, so he was a bit more composed than his counterpart. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, was holding it in to prevent disaster. The longer he held it in, the worse the damage will be when Obi-Wan brings the thunder.

"Chief Manieu," Anakin said, standing outside the cave. "We'd like our lightsabers back."

The Chief stepped outside. "First of all, you are supposed to be in the cave, preparing for your imminent doom. Second of all, the Hugging Festival is about to begin. We cannot afford you two violence-magnets to ruin it."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and focused on probing the chief's mind. "You will hand us our lightsabers back and we'll be on our way."

Manieu's eyes glazed over. "Here are your lightsabers," he said. "Now, be on your way."

"Thank you, my friend. Let's go, Anakin."

"_Where_? This planet is entirely made up of these hug-me-bears. We have nowhere to go! The music is in the wind, so it'll follow us no matter what!"

"We'll figure that out. I'm sure a solution will present itself."

Before Anakin could respond, one of the creatures jumped onto his back and clung to his neck from behind. He wasn't choking the Jedi Knight, of course. He wasn't strong enough to. But the hug was enough to get on Anakin's nerves.

"They're _attacking_ us with _hugs_ now, Master," Anakin whispered. "I want to choke them." He held up his hand.

"No." Obi-Wan put his hand on Anakin's. "Patience. The Force will guide us. Just calm yourself and listen."

"You know, a lecture is the last thing I need right now."

"Hey, guys. How's it hanging?" The Jedi turned to see, out of all people, Kit Fisto. The Nautolan was making his way toward them with a calm demeanor and a grin on his face. "Getting sick of the Planet of Hugging yet?"

"Is that what it's called?" Anakin asked.

"Nope. It's called Floracand. Let's get out of here, shall we?"

"How do you expect us to do that?" Obi-Wan and Anakin said in unison.

"Through the Portal of Destiny, of course. You don't know how to use it?"

"So that's what it was. Do you think you can get us back to Coruscant with it?" Obi-Wan asked hopefully.

Kit shook his head. "Nope. I haven't quite figured it out yet. I just know how to step through and get to random planets. This is my second one. I kind of…followed you guys on accident."

"What was your first one? And how'd you get off?" Anakin asked him.

"To your first question: don't worry about it." He winked. "I'm sure you'll get a chance to see it. And your second question…well…the portal just appeared again and I stepped through, hoping to get back home. It took me here instead. I stumbled upon a tribe of these lovey-dovey things and almost went nuts. Then the Force told me that you guys were here, too. So I came to find you and, lo and behold, you two were here with the exact same get-me-out-of-here expression that I had earlier." He glanced backward. "It looks like the Portal is here for us. Let's get going, shall we?"

"Gladly," Obi-Wan said. "It is _very_ good to see you, Master Fisto."


	3. Mwahaha

**SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! D: I had the State Debate Tournament and Prom to worry about, so I haven't had time. Well, I'm back and ready to respond to your reviews and bring more epic worlds of epicness (according to Microsoft Word 2003, "epicness" is not a word. But, technically, neither is "pwnage." Plus, this is Star Wars. I can defy the Word Dictionary if I want to. So ha).**

**AaylaKit: That's my favorite part too. I could not stop laughing as I typed it.**

**Ayy Kaim: Ow! Keep that up, and I'll be too injured to update! Or, you know, too injured to attend school and therefore updating will be the only thing I'll be able to do…Anyway, I like that plot idea. I'd totally read that if it was posted.**

**laureas: You forgot "Live long and prosper." XD Thanks for the great review! The fans are all-powerful—you want Ahsoka, I will put her in here. And yeah, I thought of Care Bears as I wrote it. I never liked the "hideous purple dinosaur" as a kid. He sang too much. It made me impatient.**

**Cult of Personality: Thank you, thank you. Um…good question. Read this chapter for clarification on that.**

**Arita: Thank you! I have TONS of ideas, so this story will keep going for awhile. ;)**

**Ali Night: Sorry. Even good writers fail sometimes. XD Glad you like the rest, though. The bears were a lot of fun. I hope the next chapters will be as successful as the first two.**

**Pergjithshme: Glad you love it! And I was picturing Care Bears without saying it outright (copyright and junk).**

* * *

The images flashed through the minds of the Jedi once again. Obi-Wan saw Darth Maul striking down Qui-Gon once, twice, three times. It played over and over again like a hologram on repeat. There was sinister laughter pounding in his head, making him want to cry out and escape the horror that he saw and heard.

Anakin saw his mother as he had last seen her. She was badly beaten and in a pitiful state. The same laughter that was in Obi-Wan's head tortured Anakin as well. Every nightmare that had ever haunted him seemed to appear in the form of pictures.

Kit saw death and destruction. He watched helplessly as droids of all types destroyed innocent beings. He wondered painfully if Anakin and Obi-Wan were seeing the horrors that he was seeing.

At last, the images ceased. The three Jedi lay on the ground of a new planet, though their minds were still in darkness. Kit was the first to awaken, as he had already adapted to the Portal's effects. More so than the humans, anyway. He realized that he was shaking, and quickly searched for a way to make the situation more humorous.

"Skywalker? Kenobi? Get up you lazy humans! Yeesh. I'll never understand why your species likes to sleep so much."

Anakin sat up quickly. "Did you say something, Master Fisto?" he asked, trembling from the after-images.

"Yep. Rise and shine! Up and at 'em! Tickle him for me, will you? It's the best remedy for lazyitus."

"Didn't you see anything?" Anakin asked.

"Of course."

"Didn't it…well…bother you?" Anakin always admired Kit's positive energy, but the fact that the Nautolan wasn't shaken at all kind of bothered him. Had he been the only one to see the disturbing images?

Kit chuckled. "Wow, who are you and what did you do with Anakin? Am I talking to Obi-Wan here?"

"Don't insult me." Anakin glanced down at the subject of conversation. "He's not moving. Is he alive?"

"Duh. It takes awhile to adjust to the new environment when you come out of the Portal. He'll be fine. How about we take a look around?"

For the first time since they'd appeared, Anakin took in his surroundings. It was a very dark planet. The trees were blackened like the trees you would see in your typical creepy forest. The land was hard and barren, and the sky had no stars.

"I don't like it," Anakin said.

"Me either. Whoever lives here _seriously_ lacks a good sense of humor. I have a feeling that the inhabitants don't know the meaning of the word _awesomeness_."

"Back to _that_ discussion again, are we?" Obi-Wan's voice interrupted.

"Hey, Master," Anakin said.

Obi-Wan looked around. A chill went up his spine as he took in the surroundings. Anakin and Kit noticed the shiver and immediately started laughing.

"Are you afraid?" Kit asked. "Fear is a path to the dark side, you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure he's heard that lecture plenty of times, considering he tells it to me _all the time_," Anakin said, sounding bored.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "I am _not_ afraid, and I resent the implication."

"Cheer up. I'm sure Kit is wrong and the people who live here are perfectly awesome in their own way. I mean, where did the kriffing stereotypes come from? Just because the planet is daunting, creepy, morbid, frightening, foreboding, sinister, disturbing, ominous…"

"Anakin! That is _not_ reassuring!" Obi-Wan cut in.

"I wasn't finished," Anakin objected.

"We've heard enough adjectives," Kit said. "Get to the point."

"Right. Just because this planet is _all those things_, it doesn't mean that the people who live here are any of those things."

Kit nodded. "Right." He took out his lightsaber and examined it. "We'd better keep these handy, though. Just in case."

"How did you manage to keep yours?" Obi-Wan inquired, finally standing up.

"The same way you did, probably. Except with more swag. The little creatures really liked me. Must be the radiation of awesomeness. Anyway, the tribe took my lightsaber and I used me creative resources to get it back. A little smooth talk and mind probing does wonders. They're extremely weak-minded."

"And easy to choke the life out of," Anakin added. "Let's not talk about those."

"Yes, spare us. Let's put that experience in the past for now. We can include it in our report upon our return to Coruscant, but, until then, we should just let bygones be bygones. That being said, did any of you see any images that match the description of Anakin's many colorful adjectives?" Obi-Wan asked.

Anakin and Kit nodded. Each Jedi took a turn describing what they saw.

"Do you think what we saw has anything to do with the planet?" Anakin wondered.

"No clue," Kit said. "Let's take a walk. I'm sure there are beings here somewhere. Why don't we—Ahsoka! What are _you_ doing here?"

Anakin took a step forward. "Snips! How'd you—are you okay?"

Ahsoka stared at them a moment. She did not seem like herself. Her eyes glowed red and her whole body was tense. A sick grin of pleasure spread across her face. "You are the real deal, aren't you?" she asked in a sinister un-Ahsoka-like voice.

"I…I don't know what you mean," Anakin said.

"You're the real Anakin." It wasn't a question.

"Yes. Is there a fake Anakin?"

Ahsoka laughed again and unsheathed her lightsabers. The blades were not green, but the crimson red of a Sith.

"I've got a _bad_ feeling about this," Anakin said, taking a few steps back.

"Ahoska, what's gotten into you?" Obi-Wan asked authoritatively.

"You have no authority here, _Obi-Wan_," Ahoska said.

"This can't be Ahsoka," Anakin asked. "I won't fight you," he added, turning to her.

She shrugged. "I'll have to take you to my Master, then. He's got plenty of instruments of torture up his sleeve."

"Oh? I thought _I_ was your Master," Anakin said, stalling.

"You are, from a certain point of view," a new voice said. Obi-Wan stepped out from behind a tree, unsheathing a lightsaber just like Ahsoka's.

Anakin glanced at the Obi-Wan behind him, confused. "There are two? I thought one was bad enough."

The Obi-Wan with the red lightsaber nodded, grinning evilly. "Of course. I am Obi-Wan, and that standing behind you is my good twin."

Kit had a lightbulb moment before the others. "This is an Evil Twin planet!" he gasped. "Cool."

"Your idea of 'cool' is very different from mine!" the real Obi-Wan said.

"My idea of 'cool' is to see them in flames!" Evil Kit said, leaping down from another tree. "Get it? Cool? Hot? Because flames are…you know…ah, forget it."

"_Great_, he has my sense of humor," Kit said.

"Of course. We're not polar opposites of you," Evil Obi explained. "We have your characteristics, just not your morals."

"I'd hate to see Evil Anakin, then," Obi-Wan mused. "Unleashing _him_ without a set of morals will certainly lead to everyone's imminent doom."

"Hey!" Anakin snapped indignantly.

"Thank your for the wonderful compliment!" yet another new voice said. "You know your padawan well."

"Master. So glad you could join us," Evil Ahoska greeted him.

"I say we should run," Obi-Wan whispered so only Anakin and Kit could hear him.

"I second that motion," Anakin muttered back.

"I like the flame idea," Evil Anakin said thoughtfully. "You head is in the right place, Fisto. However, we don't want to kill them. Their deaths would mean the end of us."

"What do you mean?" Kit asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"Well, if I were to strike you down right now," Evil Kit explained, "then I would cease to exist. Poof. Boom. No more Evil Kit. But if I tortured the kriff out of you, then I get a good laugh, you get a good scream, and we all live happily ever after. Well, _I_ would, anyway." His voice changed to a sickly-sweet tone when he added, "You'll live in misery and pain the rest of your life. Enjoy!"

"Leave them alone already!" another new voice called from the top of the hill.

The Evil Twins looked up. "Ooh, it's the Bounty Hunters. We're _so scared_," Evil Anakin taunted.

"Bounty Hunters?" Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Kit followed the Evil Twins' gazes. There, on the top of the hill, were Dengar, Bossk, and Boba.

"Wait—if 'good guys' have Evil Twins, then what do the bad guys have?" Anakin wondered.

"The Bounty Hunters aren't evil, though," Obi-Wan pointed out.

"Just big and tough and greedy," Kit added.

"This is an Evil Twin planet. Not an Opposite Planet," Anakin mused. "So the Bounty Hunters are either extra evil, or a bit nicer than they are in real life."

"We laid claim on these victims first!" Evil Kit called.

"Why don't we bring this before the Evil Senate?" Boba suggested. "I'm sure these Realities are dying to see how we do things here."

"I _am_ a bit curious," Anakin admitted.

"Aren't you always?" Kit said, chuckling despite the situation.

"It gets him into trouble, certainly," Obi-Wan muttered.

* * *

"Now, what would be in the worst interest of the people?" Evil Bail's voice echoed.

"Well, to be unfair—hey, we have visitors!" Evil Padmé said.

"Visitors? We never have visitors on this planet!" Evil Palpatine said skeptically.

"They're Realities," Evil Obi said. "We figured you would know what to do with them."

"I still want to toast 'em," Evil Kit said.

"This is dangerous!" Evil Bail was suddenly nervous. "Remember that what they do directly affects us. They shouldn't be here. It upsets the balance of things."

"He has a point. How about the Freezing Treatment?" Evil Ahsoka suggested. "That way, we can preserve them and Evil Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Kit will live forever!"

"Good idea," Evil Palpatine said approvingly.

* * *

"Welcome to the Evil Lab," Evil Anakin said.

"Somehow, I don't feel very welcome," Obi-Wan commented.

"Must there always be an Evil Lab?" Kit asked.

"Get them ready for the Freezing Treatment," Evil Anakin ordered an Evil Healer.

"So this is the end," Anakin said. "Any last words? Kit?"

"Don't leave your appliances running," Kit said simply.

"Huh?" was the general reaction from everyone in the room.

"Never mind. Prepare the freezing!" Evil Obi-Wan ordered.

"I don't think so!" a new voice shouted. Ahoska—the real on—leapt into the room with her lightsabers out. "Jump, Master!"

The Portal appeared behind Ahoska. She jumped in, followed by Kit, Obi-Wan, and Anakin. The Evil Twins could do nothing but stare dumbfoundedly.


	4. Yum

**Wow, it's been awhile, hasn't it? Well, in my defense, I've been so busy wrapping up _Pwning and Gaming_ and getting _The Force of Mischief_ (see my profile if you want to find it—it's hard to find cuz it's a Thor/Star Wars crossover) started that I haven't paid this fic much well-needed attention. Whoops. Well, to make up for it, here's the next installment of _The Portal of Destiny_!**

**AaylaKit: Love Boba and Dengar too! They're epic. And Kit was intended to be evil? Hmm. Interesting. I'm on the News Team at my school and we did a "May the Fourth be with you" signoff that day. It was awesome! And I got to say it, too! :D**

**Ayy Kaim: Oh. My. Gawd. Loki. Showed. Up. At. My. Doorstep. XD In response to your final review on _Pwning and Gaming_, I will try to keep my promise, but don't send Thor after me if I can't keep it. If he bashes my skull with his hammer, how will I be able to update? XD**

**Arita: Sorry I haven't updated in so long. I'll try to update on a regular basis.**

**Cult of Personality: Yeah, yeah, four. That was my intention. Using the word "evil" a lot was my lame attempt at humor.**

* * *

This time, there were no flashes of images. The three Jedi tumbled out of the Portal, while Ahsoka stepped through easily. "Why do you have so much trouble with this thing?" she asked, looking down at her Master. There was amusement in her eyes and voice.

"How do you not?" Anakin countered. "We're lucky not to have been haunted by pictures this time."

"Pictures? What pictures?" Ahsoka was confused.

"Never mind," Obi-Wan grunted. He stood up and brushed himself off. "Let's figure out where we are now." His gaze took in their surroundings. They were in a field of brown grass. The texture of it was very strange. Why the brown color? In fact, upon looking around, Obi-Wan realized that the entire planet was colored a variety of whites and browns.

"What is this place?" Anakin wondered, looking just as bewildered as Obi-Wan.

Kit sat up. "I got a mouthful of grass," he complained. "Oddly, it doesn't taste like grass at all."

"What does it taste like?" Ahsoka asked, plucking a few blades from the ground.

"Try it," was all Kit said.

Ahsoka frowned suspiciously and popped a blade in her mouth. It immediately melted on her tongue. Her eyes closed blissfully. "It's…chocolate!"

"Amazing, right?" Kit asked.

"_Chocolate_?" Anakin shook his head disbelievingly. "No way."

"Try it, Master!" Ahsoka urged him.

Anakin shrugged and did so. His eyes widened in surprise. "Wow. So it is." Before he could stop himself, he was eating more of the strange chocolate-flavored grass.

Obi-Wan watched disgustedly. "So you're eating grass because it tastes like chocolate."

"Yep. Don't act like you don't want to," Anakin said, laughing.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "This may come as a shock to you, Anakin, but you're wrong."

"About what?" He shoved another handful of grass into his mouth.

"I _don't_ want to because I _do not_ like chocolate." Anakin spat out his mouthful of chocolate-flavored grass. "That was rude, Anakin. Not to mention completely unflattering."

"Never mind that!" He started laughing uncontrollably. "I can't believe you just told me that _you_ don't like _chocolate_!"

"It's not funny," Obi-Wan scowled.

"I think it's hilarious. I mean, to make such an obvious lie…You are such a bad liar, Obi-Wan. No offense. Well, okay, never mind. Offense intended."

"I'm serious, Anakin. It's too sweet for me." Anakin stood up and walked away. "…Where are you going?" Anakin didn't answer. He just kept on walking. "Get back here!" Obi-Wan ordered to his former apprentice's retreating back. "Anakin!"

"You offended him, Master Kenobi," Ahoska said, feigning seriousness. "He cannot bear to be in your presence now that you have revealed your true nature to him."

"Just because I don't like chocolate? So my preferences are offensive now?"

"Nope. Just stupid," Kit said, standing up.

"Ha-ha." Obi-Wan's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Let's go see if we can find a settlement here. And some real food. I haven't eaten all day."

"I think you'll be disappointed," Ahsoka said. "Look." She pointed at a forest. "I have a suspicion that they're made of chocolate, too."

"So this is a chocolate planet? Awesome," Kit said. "I think I'll like it here."

"Do not jump to conclusions," Obi-Wan said, holding onto the hope that they were wrong. He was hungry, tired, and a bit grumpy. He wasn't keen on the idea of sleeping on a planet of chocolate. "The forest is our best bet. I'm sure we'll find some form of civilization in there." He decided not to express his doubts. Anyone stranded on a chocolate planet probably wouldn't live too long.

"Good idea, Mr. Negativity," Kit said. "Stop trying to hide it. You think we're going to die."

"You will be the first one to die, Fisto," Obi-Wan said, "considering there probably isn't any _water_ here. Have you considered that?"

Kit's smile froze on his face. He was, for the first time, at a loss for words. "I—" He lifted a finger, then let his arm drop. "Well, you—" He lifted his index finger again as if he was going to make a good argument, but let his arm drop once again.

"See? Not so optimistic about the concept of a chocolate planet _now_, are you?" Obi-Wan crossed his arms. "I rest my case."

"Shut up, Kenobi," Kit growled. "Let's go to the forest. I'm sure they have water. You're just trying to scare me."

"If only I was," Obi-Wan murmured. "I'm not saying that they're no hydration. There's just no water, most likely."

"Why don't we find out?" Ahsoka suggested.

They both murmured agreement. The three of them walked into the forest, momentarily forgetting about Anakin, who had actually gone into it as well. Unfortunately for Obi-Wan, Kit and Ahoska had been right. The forest _was_ made of chocolate.

"Look—a chocolate bunny!" Ahoska exclaimed, pointing.

Sure enough, a chocolate bunny zipped right up to them. It looked up curiously, its eyes strangely intelligent for a rabbit. It thumbed its hind leg twice, then hopped off.

"That was weird," Kit said.

"Let's keep going," Obi-Wan suggested. They walked for awhile until Obi-Wan felt the ground change suddenly. He was being sucked into it! "Chocolate quicksand!" he gasped. "Kit—help me!"

Kit leaned forward and grabbed Obi-Wan's hand, while Ahsoka took the other. They pulled, but to no avail. "Hang on…we'll find a way," Kit said, growing nervous.

"I don't have _anything_ to hang onto!" Obi-Wan shouted.

"You do now!" a voice said from above. A chocolate Twizzler-type vine fell from a tree. "Grab on!" the voice insisted.

Obi-Wan obeyed and felt the stranger pulling the vine up so that he was lifted out of the chocolate quicksand. When he was pulled to safety, he looked up, panting slightly. "Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome." A man jumped out of the tree. He was humanoid in form, but he had markings all over his body that Obi-Wan figured were made of melted chocolate. He was also shirtless. "You've got to be careful. How'd you get here, anyway?"

"Long story," Obi-Wan said. "Who are you?"

"My name does not matter," he said. "I am of the Chocolate Tribe. We thrive on the very material that this planet is made of. We live in harmony, so if you bring destruction, you are not welcome here."

"Don't worry," Kit reassured him. "We're keepers of the peace where we come from. We have no intention of hurting anyone." He turned to Obi-Wan. "Ha! And _you_ thought no one could survive here."

"Well it's obvious that their constitutions require chocolate for nourishment," Obi-Wan observed. "Mine does not, and neither does yours. We could not survive here, because chocolate does not have the nutrients we need to stay alive."

"Such long words," Kit said, yawning. "Are you done lecturing yet? Jeez, no wonder Anakin gets bored of you. I don't know how he survived as your apprentice."

"Ouch," Ahsoka said, chuckling. When Obi-Wan turned to her, she added, "Oh, come on, you know I'm fond of you, Master Kenobi. I even look up to you. But sometimes it's actually _okay_ for friends to poke fun at each other."

"I suppose so. Now, where is Anakin?"

"Up here, Master! I see you met my friend." Anakin jumped down to join the man that had rescued Obi-Wan. "The Chocolate Tribe is awesome! They live completely off chocolate!"

"Yes, so we've heard," Obi-Wan said dryly.

"Come on, lighten up. I still haven't gotten over your completely ludicrous comment about chocolate. Do you care to tell your rescuer about your 'little problem', Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan wasn't sure how the Chocolate Tribe members would react to the fact that he didn't particularly favor chocolate. They claimed to live peacefully, but what if he offended them? Would he be thrust back into the chocolate quicksand?

"Come with me to my tribe!" the man urged them. "We will give you a place to stay the night. I'm sure you are all exhausted."

"We are," Ahoska said. "It's been a long day."

"Speak for yourself," Anakin said. "_You_ weren't at the Hug-Me-Bear planet."

"Ugh, I thought we agreed not to speak of it again," Kit groaned.

"Right. Let's just get to some shelter and figure out what we'll do from there," Obi-Wan said.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Master, that we won't die here. The Portal will come back for us. It always has in moments of crisis," Anakin said with confidence.

"But what if it only comes under life-threatening conditions?" Obi-Wan fretted.

"Then it'll come when we're about to die," Anakin joked.

"That's not funny."

Anakin shrugged. "Don't worry so much. Just enjoy the moment for awhile. I know that's hard for you. If it makes you feel better, meditate."

"I think I will." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and focused becoming one with the Force. He imagined the Portal coming back for them. A gateway to another planet much safer than this one.

Anakin jumped in surprise when the Portal appeared right behind Obi-Wan. "Um, Master?"

"Do not bother me again, Anakin," Obi-Wan murmured, deep in meditation. "You suggested I meditate, so you'll have to live with me being unavailable for the moment."

"But, Master…"

"Leave me alone, please."

"Dude, look behind you."

Obi-Wan's eyes snapped open. "Don't address me like that," he scowled.

"Just turn around."

Obi-Wan did so. "Well, what do you know? I don't care if we're about to drop from exhaustion. I'm leaving this place." He stood up and stepped through the Portal.

"I guess we're leaving. Come on, Ahsoka. Kit."

"I'm taking some of these rocks with me," Kit said.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Star Wars.**


	5. Of Giants and Jedi

**Hello everybody! Here's another update from Yours Truly. Juggling two fanfics is so fun! If only school didn't get in the way. :/ Ah, well. I'm almost DONE! Graduation sounds so sweet right now. Once summer rolls around, I'll update way more often (if I'm not off doing summer-like activities). I'll have much more down time, so I'll be able to satisfy everyone's hunger for quality fanfiction! …Well, not really. I don't consider myself an AWESOME writer per say. I'm good enough, I think. On that note, enjoy this chapter!**

**Ayy Kaim: Your review made me laugh, as always! I consider myself a Loki fangirl, so sending him over here to threaten me to update was kryptonite to me. XD Ha, poor Luke. I hope my fate won't be the same as his. You've certainly stated on a daily basis that you want to squish me. And random-fan803. About that: she's been _extremely _busy and told me to tell you that she's had too much to do to update (PS her kryptonite is Ewan McGregor. Hint, hint). So if she doesn't update again anytime soon, unleash her ultimate weakness!**

**AaylaKit: OMG that made my day. Poor Ahsoka. May the Force be with her. In response to your question, I figured that the planet exists in such a way that it is possible to sustain life without melting the chocolate.**

**LadySaxophone: I KNOW RIGHT! XD Oh, sweet, blissful chocolate. Come to me in my times of cramps and misery! 0_0 ANYWAY, thanks for the review. I'm glad you like my portrayal of the characters, because I was worried that I didn't do a very good job.**

* * *

Obi-Wan was the first to step through the Portal. "I have a feeling that we're not on Coruscant yet," he said, looking around. "Well, I'm sure it's way better than the Chocolate Planet anyway and wow is that a _tree_?" He looked up to see that it was indeed a tree. It was also, however, so big that the top wasn't visible from Obi-Wan's current point of view.

"Hey, Master," Anakin said, stepping out from behind. Obi-Wan jumped. Anakin laughed. "You scare so easily."

"It's impossible to sense the Portal's whereabouts, you know," Obi-Wan answered tersely. "I couldn't feel you behind me."

"Excuses, excuses." Anakin shrugged and turned around to see Kit and Ahoska stepping through. Kit had an armful of chocolate rocks.

"What? Don't look at me like that. I'll probably never get to see a Chocolate Planet again for as long as I live. I needed some edible souvenirs. Just in case we end up on a deserted planet with no food or water."

"Wouldn't the rocks melt, then?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I—they—oh, shut up." Kit put the rocks down. "We'll just have to eat them fast, okay? Or put the melted chocolate in a cup to drink later."

"And where will we get the cup?" Obi-Wan spoke up again.

"You know what, Kenobi?" Kit held up a hand and used his thumb and four fingers to imitate a person talking. "This is what you're doing…" He closed the imaginary mouth that he made with his fingers. "And this is what you should be doing."

"Very funny, Fisto."

"UP! You're still talking! Do I have to do it again? This is what you're doing…"

"Alright, I get the point." Obi-Wan held up a hand. "Just don't do that anymore."

"Obviously you _don't_ because you're still talking," Kit said obnoxiously. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes but did not speak this time. "That's better. So Anakin, where are we?"

Anakin peered up at the tree that Obi-Wan had been staring at. "Evidently we're on a planet with trees of gigantic proportions," he remarked. "If my estimate is correct, I'd say that that tree is about ten times the size of your average house."

"Um, Master? _Speaking_ of average house…" Ahoska said nervously from a distance away.

"What?" Anakin rushed over to join her. "What are you talking about—oh. _That_ average house." They were standing in front of a house far bigger than the tree. "Yeesh. I think I know where we are now. Let's call it Giant Planet. Everything is _way_ bigger than what we've got back home." As if his words were an alarm, the door opened. "Oh, kriff. If the trees and houses are gigantic, then the people must be…"

Before Anakin could finish his sentence, a little girl almost the size of a house stepped onto the porch. She had long blonde hair, green eyes, and a pretty pink dress. She stopped when her gaze fell upon the small group. "What—who are you?" She knelt down so she could peer at them more closely.

"Um…hello there." Obi-Wan said.

"Hi!" the girl exclaimed. "Oh my gosh, they're so cute! Mommy, toys that talk!"

"Do _what now_?" Kit objected.

A woman who actually _was_ the size of a house joined them. "Clara, how many times do I have to tell you to stop making up stories? I'm sure there are no toys that can talk. If you'll excuse me, I've got to get back to fixing dinner. Go outside and play or something."

"No, seriously, Mommy! Look!"

The woman looked down and, sure enough, saw the Jedi. "Oh. _Those_ talking toys. What do you know?" She reached down and picked up Anakin. "I'm sure they don't really talk, honey."

"Actually, you'll find that one quite talkative," Obi-Wan said, pointing at Kit.

"Remember our conversation? _This is what you're doing_…"

Obi-Wan shut up immediately, not wanting to go through that again.

"Let me go!" Anakin shouted, struggling.

"Oh, they do talk. Wow."

Anakin tried to reach for his lightsaber. Kit sensed his intentions and called up, "I wouldn't do that if I were you! If you anger her, she might squish you!" He laughed. "As interesting as that would be, I wouldn't prefer to see Anakin guts everywhere. No thanks. I mean, there's the mess, and the lawsuit…"

"Hey, Kit?" Anakin said, looking down.

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Kit shrugged. "Just saying. I seem to get that a lot, don't I?"

"And you said _I_ was annoying," Obi-Wan mused.

"Um, guys? I hate to interrupt, but I'm in a bit of a _situation_ here…" Anakin said through his teeth.

"They're awfully intelligent for toys," the woman remarked, squeezing Anakin a little. "They feel like normal people to me."

Anakin made a strange noise when she squeezed him. "That's because we _are_ normal people…yow!" He tried harder to free himself, but the longer he struggled, the tighter she gripped him. His face was beginning to change color. "_Guys…_!"

"Let him go!" Ahoska shouted. "You're killing him!"

The woman promptly let go. Anakin dropped a long way before using the Force to cushion his fall. He lay on the ground dramatically. "Obi-Wan…come…closer…" Obi-Wan leaned closer. "I…don't…think…I'll make…it…" Anakin placed his hand on Obi-Wan's cheek. "I want you to do something for me. Carve onto my tombstone…'Here lies Anakin Skywalker, the Awesome Pwning Pilot of the Galaxy.' Got it?"

"Yes, but we probably wouldn't bury you. We'd probably have a similar funeral to Qui-Gon's," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin snapped into a sitting position. "Wow, dude, I was kidding. Seriously. Keep the flames at a distance, please."

Kit laughed. "Nice acting, Skywalker."

"Are you quite finished?" the woman asked.

"Of course not! I haven't gotten my standing ovation yet," Anakin said.

"Keep your day job," Obi-Wan remarked.

"Pwned!" Kit and Ahsoka shouted at the same time.

"Yeah, yeah. I've heard that line tons of times. It's really not that interesting. So what are our fates now? Are we to become this girl's playthings?" Anakin asked. "I personally do not want to be squeezed again. Just saying."

"They're so cool, Mommy!" Clara said, jumping up and down. As she did, the Jedi felt the ground trembling beneath them. "Can I keep them? Please?"

"That's up to them. They obviously have minds of their own," the woman answered. "If they had sense, they'd turn around and run away before they end up half-dead like the dramatic actor down there."

Anakin laughed. "Ha! You called me…wow. Nice. Well, um…I say we take her advice. See you around!"

Before the Jedi could leave, another figure appeared. He was much larger. "What's all the commotion over here?" he asked.

Anakin, Kit, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan all looked up. As different as they were in personality, they all shared the same sense of panic. This was a very dangerous planet. Way more dangerous than the Chocolate Planet (as much as Obi-Wan wouldn't admit it) and possibly worse than the Evil Planet. The three older Jedi, however, refused to accept that it was even considerably worse than the Hug-Me-Bear Clan and their ways of cuteness. They were glad that Ahsoka had not witnessed its horrors, because she would have hated it. Well, come to think of it, she might have found it rather cute at first. But it would drive her crazy eventually.

"I say we run," Anakin said stiffly.

"I say that's a good idea," Kit said.

"Don't run. Any sudden movements, and we could surely be squished. Back away slowly. All of you. Just keep backing up. Don't break eye contact. Keep moving." They did just that. The giants stared down at them. There was amusement on their faces. They found the little band of Jedi quite amusing. "Okay…_now _run!" Obi-Wan ordered.

The Jedi turned tail and fled. The girl ran after them, just as Obi-Wan had feared. "We'll get squashed!" Kit shouted.

"Keep going! Use the Force to speed your steps!" Obi-Wan urged.

They ran all the way to a lake. "Dive!" Kit yelled, jumping into the water. Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka followed. The girl stood on the bank, her eyes filling with tears.

"Oh, great. We upset her," Anakin said when he surfaced.

"She was going to kill us!" Ahsoka objected, surfacing as well. "Which is better? Saving our skins or getting pulverized by someone the size of an average house?"

"Good point, Snips. I've trained you well."

Obi-Wan appeared, but Kit did not. "Master Fisto? He must still be underwater! Help me find him."

Anakin and Ahsoka exchanged amused glances. "He's aquatic," Anakin said. "He'll be fine."

"I knew that," Obi-Wan said. "No, seriously, I did!"

"Sure you did. Great, now we're all wet. Let's get back to the bank. Force knows we won't be able to swim to the other side. I mean, look at the size of this lake." Anakin looked around. "No point treading water forever. Let Kit enjoy himself down there."

Kit, of course, _was_ enjoying himself. The gigantic fish were fascinating to him. He found himself racing one across the gigantic reef in the gigantic lake on the gigantic planet. Getting irritated at my repeated use of the same adjective? Good. That was my intention.

The other three finally made it to the bank and hauled themselves out. Kit leapt into the air like a dolphin and plunged back in. Anakin smiled. Kit was truly himself when he was surrounded by water.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" Kit said, reluctantly getting out of the water to join them. "This is more like it. I like the massive expanse of water. Nice touch. I wonder if there is big food here? I'm starving."

"Giant food _would_ be nice," Ahsoka said.

"We could climb a fruit tree and risk falling to our dooms and breaking our necks," Anakin suggested, pointing at an exotic fruit tree.

"Come on, Master. You know we've climbed big things before. We have the Force on our side! Let's go!"

Anakin laughed. "Of course. Lead on, apprentice."

"Gladly." Ahsoka ran in the direction of a tree with large pink fruit. "There's one with brown fruit over there, and here's pink, and some purple over there…Where do we start?"

"I'll get the blue," Anakin said, pointing to a different tree that Ahsoka had missed. "You get pink, Kit will get purple, and Obi-Wan will get brown. We'll meet at the bank and eat then. All we have to do is climb up and use the Force to guide them down to the ground. Easy enough, right?"

They took their time climbing up the trees and getting fruit. They finally sat down to eat. "We're definitely resting after this," Ahsoka decided. "I don't know about you, but I'm about to drop."

"Agreed," Kit said. "I'm sure there's a nice big place we can settle down in."

"How about those leaves?" Anakin suggested. "They'll provide good concealment so that we won't be visible to the creepy creatures of the dark."

"Stop trying to scare us, Anakin," Obi-Wan said, "because it won't work. I'm sure we've seen way worse than this planet has to offer."

"Oh yeah? What about the gigantic insects?" Anakin asked. When no one answered, he said, "I rest my case. Leaves it is."

"Can we eat already?" Without waiting for an answer, Ahsoka picked up a pink fruit and started eating it. "Wow, it's so good! I can't describe the taste, but it's amazing."

Obi-Wan took a bite out of the brown fruit he'd collected. His eyes widened slightly. "Oh, no."

"What is it, Master?" Anakin asked.

"This fruit…tastes like _chocolate_!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I still do not own Star Wars, nor do I own the "Creepy Creatures of the Dark" reference from SpongeBob.**


	6. Fun on the Giant Planet

**Hello, hello! Sorry I haven't updated this fic in awhile. I just graduated Saturday, so I had a lot on my plate! :) I've also been working on my other fic a lot, because I'm kind of addicted to writing it. Anyway, enjoy this chapter! It's a continuation of the Giant Planet, because I had a request from my brother to build on it a bit before the next planet.**

**AaylaKit: Haha nice I like it! Ooh, clowns. I might add that to my List. Yes, I have a list of planet ideas on my iPod. There are so many that I had to get them down so I wouldn't forget later. And I read your review on **_**This Means War!**_** Unfortunately, my sister is not the Loki fan that I am. She's never seen **_**Thor**_**, so threatening her with his hammer will do no good. **

**LadySaxophone: Okay, I'll try to make Obi cooler. ;) Thanks again. I'm a dramatic actress myself, so I enjoyed making Anakin act all overdramatic.**

**Cult of Personality: …Random, but sure! Why not? And I'll fix the girl thing before they depart to their next realm of awesomeness. Fair enough?**

**Pergjithshme: Sorry about that. I'll work on making him awesomer. It's so cool to find someone who likes all three of my stories. This makes me happy. :)**

* * *

Anakin pointed and laughed. "Ha! Give me one of those, would you? I already miss that Chocolate Planet."

Obi-Wan handed him the fruit. "Take them all. I've lost my appetite."

"Oh, come on, Master. It's not that bad." Anakin grinned.

"How can anyone not like chocolate?" Kit asked. "Seriously?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Let's just rest, all right? We've got a lot to figure out tomorrow. Maybe we'll wake up and it'll be a dream, perhaps." He chuckled softly. "One very interesting dream to say the least."

"We need to summon the portal somehow," Ahoska said, pulling a leaf over herself. "This planet is nice and all, but the threat of being squished is a bit much for me."

"I thought you like adventure, Snips," Anakin said, doing the same.

It wasn't long before they settled down and fell asleep.

* * *

Kit was the first to awaken. He was more sensitive than the others, so he felt the ground trembling before they did. He sprang to his feet, throwing the leaf off of him. _What's that?_ he wondered. The shaking was getting harder and faster. He saw a figure in the distance. It was the girl from yesterday, running toward the lake. Kit made to hide under the leaf again, then felt a familiar tingle in his spine. He looked up at the sky to see that it was dark gray. _Uh-oh. That can't be good._ It was going to rain. Giant raindrops and possibly giant lightning. If it was giant hail, then they were done for.

"Guys, get up!" he shouted. Anakin and Obi-Wan, who were trained to respond quickly, sprang to their feet. Ahsoka merely rolled over and made a low moaning sound.

"On your feet, Snips!" Anakin commanded. Ahsoka still did not move.

"Guys, it's going to rain. Look!" Kit said, pointing to the sky.

"We'll have to find shelter then," Obi-Wan said. His gaze took in the little girl in the distance. "Maybe she could be of help to us."

"Are you crazy?" Anakin asked. "Her mother almost squeezed the life out of me! I had to turn into a dramatic actor and you know how I get when I turn into a dramatic actor."

"We know," Obi-Wan and Kit said in unison. They exchanged glances, then laughed despite the situation.

"Okay, Snips, get up," Anakin said, pulling the leaf off of his sleeping apprentice. Ahsoka mumbled in protest. "It's going to rain. We need to get out of here." Ahsoka's eyes snapped open at that. "The girl is nearby. If you want to get squished or drowned, you can stay here. Whichever comes first."

"Okay, Master, I'm up, I'm up," she said, standing up and yawning. "When do you think the rain will start? And where could we find shelter?"

"I hate to say this, but I think we need to get back to the house," Obi-Wan said. Everyone stared at him. Kit snorted. "Do _you_ have a better idea, Fisto?" he challenged.

Kit shook his head. "Nope. But yours is stupid."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "I'm going back to the house. If the rest of you want to suffer the fates that Anakin threatened his apprentice with, then go ahead." He smiled and walked away. The others exchanged glances, then followed. "So you decide to follow my plan for once," Obi-Wan said. "Here I thought you were too afraid to go back."

"Actually, we're too afraid of getting killed by a downpour of rain, so we're stooping to listening to you," Anakin said.

They travelled back to the house. It was not difficult to get inside, considering their size. Once they were in, they focused on finding a place where they would not be spotted. "All right, I sense that no one is in the bedroom down that hall," Obi-Wan said. "If we stick together, we might be able to—Anakin, what are you _doing_?"

Anakin was walking straight for the kitchen table. "What? I'm hungry," he said. "I smell chicken wings."

Obi-Wan facepalmed. Ahsoka opened her mouth, but was cut off by Kit. "Ooh, really?" He ran up to where Anakin was staring up at the table. "Here, let's see if we can jump it."

"We can't," Anakin said, "but we can jump onto that chair. Then the chair will give us enough height to get to the food." He demonstrated by leaping onto the chair. "Simple. Coming, Master?"

Obi-Wan looked around. "They could come in here any minute," he said.

"So?"

"In other words, count me in," Obi-Wan said, smiling. He jumped up to join his former padawan. Soon, the three Jedi were on the table. Ahoska remained on the ground.

"Look! A giant chicken leg! How'd we get so lucky?" Anakin asked, rushing toward it. Obi-Wan and Kit followed. "Bon appetite, my friends!" he said, digging in. The other two did the same.

While this went on, Ahoska wandered around curiously. She had never been in a giant house before, and probably never would again, so she wanted to explore for a bit. She turned a corner into the living room, which was filled with elegant modern furniture. She was so busy marveling at the style and décor that she did not notice a gigantic tabby cat creeping up behind her. As she reached forward to touch the silky curtains, she heard a low growl behind her. Turning very slowly, her eyes met the large amber ones. "Oh," she murmured. Ahsoka sensed that the cat was about to attack. In a quick, sudden movement, she sprinted away. The cat followed in large bounds. There was no way she'd be able to outrun it in open space. She would have to maneuver around furniture in order to lose it. "Master!" she shouted.

Anakin sighed. "Do I ever get to eat?" He peered down and took immediate notice of the cat pursuing his apprentice. "Get up here," he invited. "Join the party. I'm sure Mittens there wouldn't care to join us."

Ahsoka nodded and jumped onto the chair, then the table. The cat followed.

"Oh snap." Anakin jumped down onto the ground. "Time to go!" Obi-Wan, Kit, and Ahsoka quickly followed. "Scatter! It can't chase all of us at once!"

"Yes, but the one it _does_ chase will be pulverized!" Kit pointed out over his shoulder as he ran. "Not that I have anything to worry about. I'm way faster than all of you."

"I wonder what you taste like, Master Fisto," Obi-Wan called. "It looks like the cat will find out soon enough!" Sure enough, the cat began chasing Kit. Kit made a grim face and leapt from one piece of furniture to the next. "Anakin, create a diversion!" Obi-Wan shouted.

"Why do _I_ have to create the diversion?" Anakin demanded.

"Just do it!"

"All right, all right." Anakin used the Force to knock over a vase. "Here, kitty kitty!" he yelled. The cat was startled by the vase. It ran out of the entrance and disappeared down the hall. Anakin fist-pumped the air. "Yeah! Beating giant kitties like a boss!"

"'Like a boss', Anakin?" Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow, then laughed. "I thought it was swag."

"Swag is in too, Master," he said. "So is 'pwned'. Learn from the Master."

"The Master? I really hope you don't mean you."

"Of course I mean me."

"Hey, you're back!" Everyone turned to see the girl, Clara, standing in the entryway. "I knew you'd come back!" She gleefully scooped Anakin up into her hand. "Do you want to play with me?"

Anakin made a strange noise. "We'd…love…to…just let me go, please."

"Great! You guys can fit in my dollhouse. Do you like tea?" Without waiting for a response, she dropped Anakin and rushed off to get her dolls. She returned before the Jedi got a chance to converse on the matter or make their escape. She set the house down and picked up Anakin again.

"Hey, I thought we had a deal here!"

She shrugged and set him in the little bathroom. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Anakin," he replied. "Anakin Skywalker."

"Do you have to go potty, Anakin?" she asked.

Obi-Wan covered his mouth to conceal a smirk. Kit burst out laughing. Anakin glared at them. "Shut up." He turned to Clara. "Erm…no, I don't. I'm fine, thanks. What I really want is that giant chicken leg."

She shook her head. "Daddy will get upset if you eat that."

"Too late," Kit mumbled.

"Do you want to play with us, too?" Clara asked the other three.

Anakin grinned evilly. "Of _course_ they do," he said before the others could respond. "They would hate to miss out on the wonders of this dollhouse. Their favorite pastimes are having tea with dollies."

Clara smiled. "Great!" She picked up Obi-Wan. "Tell me your names."

"That's Obi-Wan, Kit, and Ahoska," Anakin introduced them.

"Where are you from?" she asked.

"Coruscant," Obi-Wan replied. "We're trying to find a way back."

Clara's brow wrinkled in confusion. "I've never heard of Coruscant. Here, I have a dining table that should be big enough for you guys. I'll get some food." She disappeared again.

"Anakin, we've got to get out of here," Obi-Wan said.

"Not in this storm," his former apprentice responded. "Listen to the thunder. It's suicide out there."

"So we're just going to sit in here until it lets up? She probably won't let us leave," Kit predicted.

Clara reappeared with some food. She set it down on the table. "Eat up!" she encouraged them.

"That food isn't real!" Anakin said after biting into a plastic toy cookie.

"Neither are you," Clara responded.

"How rude," Kit said. "What if we told you that _you_ aren't real?"

"But I am. You're not. You're just toys with super smart capabilities," she said.

"That's an awful long word for such a little girl," Anakin shot back.

"She's hardly little," Obi-Wan pointed out.

"If you're not toys, then what are you?" she asked.

"We're Jedi," Obi-Wan explained. "Keepers of the peace. We serve the Republic, though you probably haven't heard of it. You might not believe us, but we fell through a Portal and ended up on different planets. This is our fourth one. We're far from toys. Our lives are far too real. So is the war," he added grimly.

Clara blinked. "Wow. Either you're right, or this is super advanced programming."

"How is she using these long words?" Anakin asked. "She can't be that smart. She's so young."

Kit shrugged. "Maybe little kids are smart on this planet," he suggested.

"Either way, we've got to get home," Obi-Wan said, addressing Clara. "Is there any way we can get a transport?"

"Dude, their transports are probably ginormous," Kit said.

"True. Let's try to summon the Portal again." Obi-Wan sat down and meditated.

"Oh, great, he's going to be boring again," Anakin said. Obi-Wan ignored him and focused on making the Portal appear.

"What's he doing?" Clara asked, poking him. Obi-Wan blocked out the touch, though it was difficult.

The Portal appeared suddenly, tugging on them. Kit saluted and fell backward in a trust-fall-type manner, landing in the portal and being sucked in. Obi-Wan stood up and stepped through, followed by Ahsoka. Anakin faced Clara apologetically. "We've got to go now, okay? We need to find a way home."

Clara pouted, but eventually nodded. "Okay. Goodbye, Anakin."

Anakin smiled gratefully. "Goodbye, Clara. Have fun with that cat of yours. Don't let it chase any more miniature people around." He chuckled and dove headfirst into the Portal.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, nor do I own the "giant chicken leg" or "giant cat" idea. Thanks, bro/Cult of Personality!**


	7. Pwning and Running

**Hey everybody! Here is another update. I decided to just go all out and update all three of my active fics in one night. So I've got this friend. Her name is Nako13yeh. I promised her I'd spread the word, so here it is. To all you people out there that read her Avengers fanfic entitled _Cross Reality_, it is back now. It was taken down and now it has been edited and has returned to us! Get out there and read it because it's awesome!**

**Ayy Kaim: Haha me too. :)**

**DarkAngel620: Yeah, I promised myself I'd make everybody (Obi-Wan especially) more awesome. I apologize to everyone who was disappointed by my Obi-Wan characterization. I'm making him awesomer, I promise! :D Thanks for the review.**

**AaylaKit: Ooh, I know your sister's weakness! Mwahaha! Clown Planet will come soon, perhaps, if I'm feeling mean one day. And no, I do not have a photoshopped picture of Loki on a unicorn. I will, however, have on of him and me soon. Random-fan will be doing that as a graduation present to me. :D Can't wait! It'll look so great! So here's the update. Tell Loki not to shun me!**

**Cult of Personality: Thank you and you're welcome! Glad you liked it.**

**Pergjithshme: I love you for that! I wish I could put them on Asgard, but then I'd have to turn this into a Star Wars/Thor Crossover. I LOVE THAT YOU'RE A LOKI FANGIRL LIKE ME THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!**

* * *

"Are they dead?" a voice asked, finding its way into Anakin's brain.

"I don't know. Nurse?"

"I got it. Clear!"

Anakin's eyes flew open and he used the Force to make the nurse go flying before she could electrify his chest. "No, no, no!" He sprang to his feet and fell into a battle stance. "When you see four unconscious Jedi on the ground, you _listen for a heartbeat_ and you _don't attack me with electricity type things_!"

Obi-Wan, Kit, and Ahsoka jumped up. "What's going on, Master?" the Togruta apprentice demanded.

"Sorry, we thought you guys were dead!" a girl said. She was humanoid in form with a blonde ponytail.

"You can't be too careful, right?" a girl with a brunette French Braid said.

Obi-Wan sighed. "Thank you, girls, for all the help, but we've got to run, so—"

"Run?" the girls said in unison.

"Run? Run? Run?" The word "run" was chorused around a group of people that the Jedi had just noticed standing there. Everyone was in various colors of shorts, tank tops, t-shirts, and running shoes. "Did he say run?"

Obi-Wan looked around. "…Um, did I say something?"

"He has only been here for a few minutes and he already knows the core of our ways!" the blonde with the ponytail said, awed. "Well, if you have to run, then don't let us disturb you!"

"What is she _talking_ about?" Anakin asked.

"I think you misunderstand me—" Obi-Wan began.

"So what events do you run?" the girl prompted.

"Events?" Ahsoka asked.

"Yeah! Are you distance runners, or more for the hundred-meter dashes?"

"Oh, come on. Aren't any of you into field events? It's not _all_ about the running, Chelsea," the brunette said.

"Of course it's all about running. I live and breathe running, Allie."

"Not everybody does, though," Allie argued.

Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan exchange confused glances. Kit grinned from ear to ear. "I like this planet," he said. "So Obi-Wan says the word 'run' and you immediately freak out." He turned to Chelsea. "You claim to live and breathe running." He faced Allie. "You argue the case for field events. Call me crazy, but I think we've hit a Track and Field Planet!"

"Do you like to run?" Chelsea asked Kit.

"Do I like to run? Do _I_ like to run?" He paused a moment for emphasis. "Do I like to swim?"

Anakin made a face. "Yes."

"Exactly! There's your answer."

"Wonderful! You'll feel right at home here, then," Allie said.

In a matter of seconds, Kit was surrounded by teenage human girls. "What do you run?" one demanded.

"Are you fast?" another asked.

"What's your best time in the two-mile?"

Kit laughed. "8:38.62," he answered proudly.

The girls swooned. "No. Way. Really? He's on my relay team. Called it."

"You can't call dibs!"

"I just did."

"I feel loved," Kit said, grinning.

"Show us your skills!" Chelsea begged.

Kit shrugged. "Sure. Are you having a competition now?"

"We _always_ have a competition," Allie said seriously.

"Count me in, then. Which events do you want to see?" Kit asked.

"Start with the hundred. I'd like to see how fast you are against my top guys," a new voice said, interrupting the fangirling conversation.

"Hi, Coach," Allie greeted him.

The coach nodded in greeting. "I hear you are pretty good. Let's put your skills to the test." He gestured for a couple of guys to join them. "These are the top two on the team here. They've competed in planetary competitions since they were little. I'd like to see if you can beat them."

Kit pondered this. "_Well_, there are an awful lot of variables there, Coach. What are their skill sets? Are they dashers or distance runners? Or are they those super-humans that can do pretty much any event and adapt to it?"

The coach smiled. "Option three, pretty much. Good luck."

Kit stretched and smiled. "This will be interesting."

Anakin glanced at Obi-Wan. "I guess we're watching a race," he said.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Anakin," Obi-Wan replied.

"Let's find seats," Ahsoka suggested.

"I want to run," Anakin mumbled.

"You'll get your chance," Kit assured him. "But right now, the spotlight's on someone who's actually _good_. Amateurs race later," he added teasingly.

Anakin rolled his eyes and followed his apprentice to the massive assortment of seats. Unlike your typical bleachers, these were actually padded and very comfortable. These people took their spectating _very_ seriously.

"Runners to your marks," a man shouted.

"Ooh, getting all official," Kit said.

The gun fired. Everyone took off running. The event was short and the winners were obvious. Ahsoka cheered Kit on for the first few seconds, but gave up when the two humans completely and utterly pwned him.

"What the kriff happened?" Anakin demanded, going down to meet him.

Kit shrugged indifferently, brushing it off. "That wasn't my event," he said simply.

"First call, boys 3200-meter run!" someone shouted.

Kit's eyes widened. "Since when was _that_ the order?" he asked. "Usually the two-mile is last. Save the best for last, come on, get with the program people!" He looked around. "No? Okay, fine. Works for me." He went to join the other two-mile runners. "Oh, twiddle-dee and twiddle-dum are here. Don't most runners _space out_ their events instead of taking two in a row?"

One of the pwners shrugged. "Keepin' it real like a boss, man," he said.

Kit grinned. "The only real thing _you_ get to keep is a second place medal," he responded.

"Ouch!" Anakin called. "PWNED!"

The guys didn't know what to say to that, so they kept their mouths shut.

The official covered the rules, explaining what would happen and what was expected of them. "Any questions?" he asked when he had finished, loading the gun in preparation. Kit raised a hand. "Yes?"

"Can I have blocks?"

"…Excuse me?"

"You know. Starting blocks. Can I have some?"

"Sir, you are about to run eight laps around the track. This is a run, not a dash. Blocks are for sprinting events."

"Exactly! That's what I'm saying."

The official was completely baffled. "I…apologize, but the rules explicitly state that blocks cannot be used for anything more than 400 meters."

"…Well, can I get down like I have blocks and just wing it?"

"No."

_Darn it._ "Very well. Carry on, then."

The gun fired and they were off. Ahsoka once again cheered for Kit, though her cheers did not die off this time because he was totally awesome. "Go Kit, go Kit, go Kit!" she shouted.

Kit ran a good first lap. He had about a three-second lead, so when he turned around and started running backwards, he had a pretty good view of twiddle-dee running behind him. Kit very nonchalantly slipped his right hand onto his forehead in the shape of an "L" and then turned around and kept running. His competition did not miss the hand signal, nor did he miss the wide grin on the Nautolan's face.

Kit ran hard, but enjoyed every moment of it. Obi-Wan watched curiously. He had known all along that Kit was the athletic type, but he never imagined that running was his thing. There were a lot of things that Obi-Wan didn't know about the Jedi Master. Perhaps this Portal journey would help him get to know him better. Though he was very subtle and quiet on the outside, he reflected on the inside how he actually enjoyed Kit's company. He would probably not admit this aloud, though.

Kit's first mile was impressive, but his last four laps blew his competition out of the water. Get it? Nautolan joke? No? Whatever. Anyway. Kit continued pwning and running, finishing with at least a fifty-second lead on his second-place opponent. And the best part was that twiddle-dee did not get a second-place medal. In fact, he got a _third_-place medal. Kit pwned them like a boss.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. So I dedicated this Track and Field Planet to my sister, random-fan803. She's a hardcore runner. :) If you guys want me to do another chapter with this planet (or if you want me to move on to a new planet) then let me know in your reviews.**


	8. Obi Gets Eaten

**Hello! Epic running planet of epicness! It looks like most of you want me to move on to a new planet, so I'll do that.**

**TNTKitten: Thanks for the reviews! Creepy Creatures of the Dark indeed. XD**

**AaylaKit: Ah-ha! I inferred that weakness from her reviews. Starting Blocks are what runners use to push off before a sprint. You know how sprinters crouch down before the gun is fired? They use starting blocks to position themselves in the proper crouching position. Random-fan is sad that you and Ayy do not run.**

**Ayy Kaim: …Oh. I'd better not use your weaknesses against you, then. O_O I don't want Loki to hate me! So you're a swimmer? Cool. Vis tecum to you, too! :)**

**DarkAngel620: LMAO! Kit pwns all.**

**Pergjithshme: Ooh, good idea! I will add it to the List of Destiny. Keep an eye out for it!**

**BlueblazeHeart: So does my sister! I'm sure you would get along with her very well. :D**

**LadySaxophone: He did win. He finished with a fifty-second lead. ;) Check the previous chapter for reference.**

* * *

"Yeah, all right Kit!" Ahsoka sprang to her feet and whooped. Anakin joined in. Obi-Wan was on his feet as well. "Come on, guys, let's go!" She rushed down to meet him. "Kit, that was—" she began, but was silenced by a look from Anakin. "Sorry—_Master Fisto_, that was awesome!"

Kit laughed. "Ready for a go, Anakin?"

Anakin nodded. "Of course! Which event should I do? Jumping? Throwing?"

"Portal-surfing?" Ahsoka interrupted.

"That's the silliest idea I've ever heard," Anakin said.

"No, look. The Portal is back." Ahsoka pointed.

"No! I want to compete!" Anakin protested.

"Come on, Anakin," Kit said, dragging him by the arm. "Time to go." Anakin protested all the way through the Portal. "See you later, girls!" Kit called over his shoulder. "Keep running, Twiddle-Dee!" He yanked the reluctant Jedi Knight through the Portal and then there was nothing.

* * *

Kit and Anakin were the first ones to go flying from the Portal. They both bounced off the ground and faceplanted. Kit's faceplant, however, was far more epic than Anakin's.

"Ugh…where are we?" Anakin grumbled, pulling himself up. "Kit…dude, we're in—" Before he could finish, Ahsoka and Obi-Wan landed on top of him. "Garroff," Anakin protested, pushing them off.

Obi-Wan tried to stand up, but was unable to grip the ground. It was too slippery. "Where _are_ we?" he demanded.

Kit examined the substance that they were lying on. "I have no idea," he said. "It's a food of some sort. Anakin?"

"I've been trying to tell you guys—it's Jell-O!" Anakin said.

"What in the universe is Jell-O?" Ahsoka asked.

Obi-Wan and Anakin stared at her as if she was from a foreign planet. Well, technically, she is. But still. They looked at her funny, okay? Quit judging me. "You don't know what Jell-O is?" Anakin demanded. "Are you my apprentice or what?" Ahsoka struggled to a sitting position and shrugged. Anakin sat up as well and facepalmed. "Just eat the kriffing Jell-O."

Ahsoka shrugged and took a handful from the ground and ate it. Her eyes widened. "Wow."

"I know." Anakin tilted his chin up a little. "Now you know."

Kit blinked. "Okay. So we're on a planet of Jell-O. Now what?"

Anakin shrugged. "We eat?" he suggested lamely, then turned to Obi-Wan. "_Please_ you tell me you like Jell-O. I mean, not liking chocolate is a crime in itself. But Jell-O?"

"Calm down, Anakin. Of course I like Jell-O."

"Good." Anakin looked around. "Well this is quite the mess we've gotten ourselves into."

Kit shrugged. "You know what this means, right?" He got to his feet and started bouncing.

"Yeah!" Ahsoka jumped up and started bouncing as well. Anakin joined.

"You are behaving like Younglings," Obi-Wan remarked.

"So?" Anakin and Kit said in unison. "What are _you_ going to do about it?"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Join you." He smiled and started jumping.

"What are you doing?" a voice asked. The Jedi stopped jumping and turned to see a man made entirely out of Jell-O. He looked downright tribal. He was holding a Jell-O spear and everything. "Are you here to summon the Jell-O Monster?" he asked.

"There's a kriffing Jell-O Monster?" Kit demanded. "Cool."

"What is wrong with you?" the man demanded. "The Jell-O Monster threatens all! We are constantly on the alert. He could come at any time."

Kit covered his mouth. "Of course. We're keepers of the peace, so…I guess we'll have to keep the peace by slaying the Jell-O Monster for you."

"Would you do that? Really?"

Anakin grinned. "Sure." He winked at Kit. "We'll take care of it."

"Wonderful. Come with me to my tribe. Follow me!" He led the way into a forest of Jell-O.

"You know there probably isn't really a Jell-O monster, right?" Ahsoka muttered.

"Of course there isn't," Obi-Wan said practically.

"Um…then what's _that_?" Anakin asked.

The Jedi whirled around to see a gigantic red blob making its way toward them. It had a huge gaping mouth that went straight for the stunned group. Anakin and Ahoska took out their lightsabers. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes at the sheer ridiculousness of the monster. Kit was just…well, Kit.

"That's awesome!" he shouted excitedly.

The monster let out a loud bellowing noise and promptly swallowed Obi-Wan. The Jedi Master, who was caught completely by surprise, was visible inside the blob. A look of shock was plastered on his face. Ahoska gasped. Anakin and Kit burst out laughing.

"Do I have to say it again?" Kit asked.

"Yes, go ahead and say it," Anakin said.

"That's awesome!" Kit shouted.

_Yeah, yeah, just get me out of here!_ Obi-Wan thought. _Ahsoka, get away from the monster with that lightsaber! You might slice _me_!_

"Whoa, hold it, Snips," Anakin said, putting a hand on his apprentice's shoulder. "First off, you might hit Obi-Wan. Don't go after it with your weapon. Second…leave it. This is kriffing hilarious."

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "You're such a _child_, Sky Guy," she mused.

"Obi-Wan!" Kit called. "Can you hear me? If you can, then _eat the Jell-O_! If you can't, then…well…never mind!" Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "He heard me! Okay, you have no excuse now." There was a pause. "No, really. It'll work, I promise."

The monster bellowed again and lunged forward to claim another victim. Anakin was not ready for the attack. His fate became the same as his former Master's. Ahsoka found it in her to laugh this time. Kit laughed himself, then nodded approvingly at the apprentice.

"So now what do we do, Master Fisto?" she asked.

"Walk away and pretend they're not there." He started to walk away, then turned back around when the monster roared. "Totally kidding, guys. Hey Ahsoka, help me start eating."

The two of them tackled the monster. It tasted like strawberries. At last, Obi-Wan and Anakin were freed. "It's about time," Obi-Wan scowled, wiping Jell-O off his robes. His eyes glittered with amusement, though, as if the whole ordeal had been somewhat funny to him. He had learned to take things like this good-naturedly. It helped him get along with Kit much better.

"Hey, man, you owe me a solid," Kit said. "So do you, Anakin. That was more Jell-O than I should have ever eaten." He shrugged. "Twas a worthy sacrifice, though. Anywho, where to now?"

"Come to my tribe where we will celebrate your defeat of the sinister Jell-O monster!" the man said, raising his spear in triumph.

They all left. When the tribe found out that the monster had been vanquished, the members pretty much threw a party in honor of the Jedi. "How'd you do it?" the chief asked.

"Well…we ate it," Kit admitted.

Everyone gasped. "You eat Jell-O?" a child asked.

"Yeah. It's really good," Anakin said, taking a chunk of the ground and popping it in his mouth.

"They're…_cannibals_!" an older tribe member gasped.

"That's not politically correct," Obi-Wan said. "Cannibalism for me would be eating a human."

"They're going to eat us all!" another member cried.

"No, we're going to get out of here _right about now_," Anakin said, leaping through the Portal that had just appeared.

"Erm…good idea," Ahsoka said. Kit and Obi-Wan joined him.

* * *

**Sorry it was so short and not very well-written. I got lazy and stuff. Long day today. Orientation at my soon-to-be college. Anyway. Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or anything like that. Oh yeah, I don't own Jell-O either.**


	9. Dancing Like A Boss

**Hello! I've got another update for you guys! It makes me very happy to see that a lot of you are reading and reviewing all three of my active stories. Keep it up! You're all awesome for sending me feedback.**

**Ayy Kaim: That's my favorite part of the Avengers movie! Well, one of my favorite parts. I've got a lot of favorite parts. Most include Loki, of course. Random-fan now understands your running predicament and ooh, a planet of zombies! I read a book once that got me terrified of zombies forever, but I'll do it for you. ;) It's on my List of Destiny now, so keep an eye out for it.**

**Darth Vadie: Yeah, my sister insisted that Obi gets swallowed by the monster, so, naturally, I bowed to her wishes. XD Neither of them saw it coming.**

**AaylaKit: Don't forget; this IS Obi-Wan. *evil grin* So exciting that you and Ayy have joined the Avengers fandom!**

**LadySaxophone: I know, right! Since Jell-O is see-through and stuff, I figured I'd take my opportunity.**

**Pergjithshme: I was hoping someone would catch on to the title. XD You're the first person to comment on it. And yes, it went very well, thank you.**

**Whip-Owl: Oh, believe me, I've got big plans for the planet that Kit went to first. That'll come later but it's in my Master Plan, I promise. ;)**

**DarkAngel620: Haha true. I'll bring that up in this chapter. I didn't really think about that because it was 1:00 in the morning when I wrote it. XD**

* * *

Anakin tumbled out of the Portal, followed by Ahsoka. Obi-Wan and Kit were not far behind. Ahsoka sat up first. "So…why exactly did we run away from the Jell-O planet again? I mean, I know we were being attacked and stuff, but they were made of Jell-O. Doesn't that make them kind of…you know…_harmless_?"

"She has a point," Kit said. "We could have just eaten them."

"But that would be rude, Kit," Anakin said.

Obi-Wan laughed. "Never mind that. Let's just figure out where we are now." He looked around. The planet was darker than normal planets, but no one would notice that because it was lit as if the sun was a disco ball. Neon light flashed everywhere and when he looked down, Obi-Wan noticed that the ground was made of a flashing glass-type substance. It was like the whole planet was one big dance floor. There was even music reverberating throughout the place. It was very upbeat.

"Hey, duuuuuuude!" a voice yelled. "We've got visitors, yo!" Someone ran up to join the Jedi. He wore a loose black t-shirt with yellow letters that said DANCE. He was human. "You dudes look too conservative for my liking," he said. "Except you." He turned to Ahsoka and grabbed both of her hands, interlocking their fingers. He then started twirling her around and around. "You are a natural, girl!" he said.

Ahoska giggled. "I like this planet, Master," she said.

The guy let go of Ahsoka and regarded the others. "You three look too uptight for my liking. I mean, who chose your outfits?"

"Not me," Kit said. "My choice of 'fashion' would be way cooler than this." There was a pause. "Call me uptight again."

"Um…you're uptight?"

With that, Kit threw off his robe and promptly began to break-dance to the music. He was moving like a professional dancer. Every move was perfect. When the song concluded, he stood up and faced the dude, whose mouth was hanging open. "_Now_ call me uptight again," he said.

"Um…you so freaking rock, dude! You'd be a candidate for the King of Dance, man," he said, bowing in respect.

Kit grinned. "Thank you, thank you. I take my swag _very_ seriously."

Anakin nodded. "He does."

"Well, I certainly learned today not to judge a book by its cover," the dude said. "Can either of you dance?"

Anakin nodded. "I can. Obi-Wan probably can't."

"He can sing, though," Kit said.

"No, I can't," Obi-Wan said quickly, flushing.

"Yes, you can. I've heard you sing to yourself. You're really good. Here, sing us a song!" Kit urged.

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No. No way."

"Please?" Ahsoka asked.

"Go for it," someone urged. The Jedi looked around, realizing that Kit's awesome break-dancing of epicness had drawn a crowd. "Dude, if you can sing, then let's hear it!"

Obi-Wan hesitated. Anakin turned pleading eyes on him. "You can sing and you never told me? Now you've _got_ to do it or I'll reveal your deepest darkest secrets to everybody."

"You don't know any of my deepest darkest secrets, Anakin, nor do I have any."

"Well, I'm sure _she_ will beg to differ."

Obi-Wan's face reddened. "Anakin," he said warningly.

"Once upon a time," Anakin began.

"Very well, I will sing," the Jedi Master said quickly. "I need a good song."

"Yeah, let's get this party started!" the first dude called. "DJ—turn up the beat and tune out the lyrics. Let's see just how good this guy is!"

The music for "Livin' on a Prayer" started playing. Obi-Wan took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and waited for the right time to start singing. When the time came, he opened his eyes and launched into the song.

Anakin was had prepared to mock him but, as he got more into it, the Jedi Knight could not find it in him. He was too amazing. There were a variety of reactions. The crowd cheered and danced. Kit nodded proudly, as if to say "That's my Obi." Ahsoka was completely and utterly shocked.

When the song concluded, people screamed for an encore. Obi-Wan shook his head in negation. "We insist!" a guy shouted, starting up another song. The next one was "Don't Stop Believing." Obi-Wan sighed, but finally relented and started to sing. Everyone was pumped up. Anakin was beside himself. He had never imagined that his former Master had that kind of voice in him.

"That was awesome!" Kit shouted when the song was finished. He punched Obi-Wan lightly in the arm. "You've got talent, dude. You've earned my respect. Plus, the Awesomeness Status."

Anakin nodded seriously. "You have been bestowed upon you a great honor by the king of the Awesomeness Status," he said. "This title does not come easily."

Obi-Wan half-smiled. "I understand." He truly did understand the significance of the moment. He was one of them now.

"Dude, it's time for the dance-off!" someone from the crowd yelled. "Who are the candidates for this year?"

"Molly and Bruce were the only ones that dared stand up against the current King," the first dude who had greeted them responded. "He's the ultimate. He's won every year. His name is Lino. He's got _major_ swag, yo."

"Someone call my name?" Lino stepped out into the open. He had the entire swag-look with the hat on the side, loose pants and shirt, and bling around his neck.

Kit sized him up with his eyes. "He doesn't look that tough," he said. "I can take him. Step aside, Obi. It's my turn to pwn."

"You're pretty good," Lino admitted. "But can you match my skills?"

Kit shook his head. "No way. A flower cannot become a seed once again, can it?"

"Ouch. Let's see you put your moves where your mouth is," Lino said.

"Anatomically, that's not possible," Kit chuckled.

"Just get out there and dance," Lino scowled.

"My pleasure. Ladies first?"

"Very funny. Let's do it old-school style. We play a song, I dance for about thirty seconds or so, and you come in when the time is right. Think you can keep up?"

"I don't know," Kit mumbled. "It'll be awfully hard not to get too far ahead."

The music began. Lino, as King, was given the privilege to go first. His dancing was pretty good. Kit watched, yawning. At last, the time came for him to jump in. He did a front flip and landed on his hands, bounced off of them, and started break-dancing even better than he had earlier. The crowd threw their hands in the air and jumped up and down, chanting his name. Kit felt a win coming on.

Lino leapt back in and shoved Kit out of the way. He started dancing again, though everyone could tell he was getting nervous. Kit was going to get his title and he knew it. At last, when the song was over, he put his hands up. "Sorry, dude. I think we all know who won today."

Kit smiled. "Thank you, Lino."

"Kit pwns all!" Ahsoka announced cheerfully.

"Ahsoka," Anakin said, giving her The Look.

"Sorry. _Master Fisto_ pwns all doesn't sound nearly as cool."

"Yes, but you're still an apprentice. You've got to respect your—"

"If you say 'elders' I am well within my right to punch you in the face," Kit said.

"I was going to say _superiors_," Anakin said pointedly.

"_Sure_ you were."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Anyway, great job. Do we party now?"

"Yes, we party," Lino said. "DJ! Hey Kit, you know what's convenient? The DJ's name is actually D.J. His mother picked his profession when he was born. You've got to have major connections to become the DJ, you know."

Kit laughed. "Nice!"

"Dude, I thought you guys were bitter enemies," Anakin said. "What gives?"

"We're rivals in dance," Kit corrected. "Now that I am the proclaimed champion, we're cool. Right, Lino?"

Lino nodded. "Of course. Drinks are on me."

For the rest of the night, the Jedi enjoyed themselves with drinks and dancing. When the dancing lasted for countless hours, though, they were beginning to tire. "Is this all you do?" Anakin asked.

"Of course," Lino said.

"Do you ever sleep?" Obi-Wan wondered.

"What is that?" D.J. asked.

"They seriously don't know what sleep is. Dude, I need to get my beauty sleep or I won't be beautiful anymore!" Kit said. "We need to find a place to rest."

"That won't happen," Obi-Wan said. "The whole place is a kriffing dance floor. Music is a part of the planet. There _is_ no rest."

Just as they were about to lose it, the Portal appeared. Anakin let out a sigh of relief. "As long as we don't go to a spider-infested planet or anything, we should be safe to rest."

"Aw, but I like it here," Kit complained.

"I thought you need your beauty sleep," Ahsoka said.

"Yeah, but can't we stay a little longer? My fans need me more than I need my sleep."

"No way. You dragged me away from the Track and Field place, so I'm dragging you away from here. Let's go, Kit," Anakin said with finality.

"Okay. Farewell, my friends. Hopefully, we will meet again. We Jedi are on a quest at the moment, so we simply cannot stay. I hope you understand." The crowd let out a general sigh of disappointment. "Hopefully my awesomeness has rubbed off on this place. So long!" Kit saluted as he almost always did before he stepped into the Portal. The other three followed suit.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey, or "Livin' on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi.**


	10. The Time of Your Life

**Hello! I've got another update for you guys! I love how I post a chapter and get, like, three reviews almost right on the spot. Maybe my fics will be as good as _Pwning and Gaming_ one day! One can hope, right?**

**Pergjithshme: You like the cover? I made one for each of my stories. I'm glad someone noticed because I put quite a bit of work into them. Obi-Wan and Kit are epic. Always remember that. :D**

**LadySaxophone: Glad you liked it! So THAT'S where you live. Shall I tell Kit where you live so he can pay you a visit? My sister has connections.**

**Ayy Kaim: Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Watching the Hulk pwn Loki was one thing…and then hearing that noise he made afterward made my heart clench. My poor Loki! Haha I will tell her. The book was "Strange Angels." I read the zombie part before I went to bed and…nuff said. And don't worry—everyone has their irrational fears. Like I used to be afraid of…never mind. Tis embarrassing.**

**Whip-Owl: Thank you! You might not believe this, but after I finish writing, I read over it as a whole and wonder where the kriff I got half of what I wrote from. It kind of comes to me and then goes away once it's written down.**

**AaylaKit: Believe me, I wish I could use Asgard. Fanfiction would take my story down, though, because they'd say that it's a Crossover that isn't labeled as one. So I settle my hunger for Thor and Loki by writing **_**The Force of Mischief **_**and **_**Invasion**_**. Maybe I could one day write a "Portal of Destiny" that involves both the Star Wars and Asgardian worlds. But for now, I've got three fanfics to update on a regular basis, so I might consider it once things settle down a bit.**

**Sparky: Hey there! Ayy Kaim and AaylaKit are awesome. I'm glad you like it!**

**DarkAngel620: Yeah, I love Obi-Wan! And I've heard his singing voice. It gave me goosebumps. Like, the good kind of goosebumps. Ha, the Awesomeness Status. It tends to be a regular topic of conversation, doesn't it?**

* * *

"Okay, the first thing we're doing is taking a nap," Anakin said when they got up from the falling through the Portal. "Looking around, I don't think we're on a Spider Planet. In fact…I think we're home!"

Obi-Wan glanced about as well, not entirely sure if Anakin was right. "It does _look_ like Coruscant, I suppose," he said. "There's something off about the Force balance, though. I sense a presence I haven't sensed in…" His eyes widened. "Qui-Gon!"

"Qui-Gon is here?" Kit asked doubtfully.

Ahsoka was suddenly curious. "Master Kenobi's old mentor?" She turned to whisper to Anakin, "Does he really sense him?"

Obi-Wan started running. "This way!" He didn't seem to care if they followed him or not. Curious, they attempted to keep up, though it was difficult. Obi-Wan was so determined that his pace was faster than usual. "Master?" He stepped into the Jedi Temple. "Master?" He walked into the Jedi Council room. There, standing near a window, was Qui-Gon Jinn. "Master…"

Qui-Gon turned around and smiled warmly. "Hello there, Obi-Wan."

"Is this even possible? Where are we?"

Qui-Gon smiled. "We are on the Planet of Time. It's basically just like Coruscant, except—"

"Hey, Master!" Obi-Wan turned around to see…well…himself. Except way shorter. He was a young apprentice, but there was no mistaking the identity of the boy. He looked to have just been apprenticed.

Qui-Gon smiled. "As I was about to say, it is just like Coruscant, except you will see lots of familiar faces that have either passed on or have been passed in years. There are a lot of Obi-Wans of various ages running around, as there are Anakins and Maces and Kits and any other Jedi you can imagine."

"What about Master Yoda?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Master Yoda is here," Qui-Gon assured him. "As is apprentice Yoda and Knight Yoda."

"Interesting." Obi-Wan frowned thoughtfully. "So I will be able to see everyone as an apprentice interacting with themselves as Masters?"

Before Qui-Gon could reply, Anakin burst in. "Dude, Obi-Wan, I totally just saw a super-good-looking dude with blond hair that resembles the Slave Me. Call me crazy, but I think we're on a—"

"Planet of Time? Yes, Master Qui-Gon has just revealed that to me."

Anakin's gaze took in the deceased Jedi Master. "Oh. Hello there, Master Qui-Gon."

Qui-Gon smiled. "Anakin." There was sadness in his eyes, though neither Anakin nor Obi-Wan knew why. "You have come so far."

"This planet defies all the laws of…everything," Kit said, walking in. "I totally just saw a sexy Nautolan walk by me."

"Where is Ahoska? We need to stick together," Obi-Wan said, "or we'll get lost amongst the duplicates of ourselves."

"Here," Anakin said, taking out a marker. "We should put marks on ourselves to indicate that we are the original four that do not belong here." He walked up to Obi-Wan and marked an "L" on his forehead. "There. Now me…" He marked an "A" on his hand. "'A' for Awesome, of course."

"You wish," Obi-Wan mused, not noticing the "L" on his forehead.

Kit pointed at Obi-Wan and laughed. "Nice, Anakin," he said. "You should've written 'Pwned' instead, though."

"Nah, I like the 'L' better."

"You put an 'L' on my forehead?" Obi-Wan asked, stunned. He quickly wiped if off with his sleeve. "Act your age, Anakin."

Anakin laughed. "I thought you knew me better than that," he said. "When do I ever act my age?"

"You were awfully keen on being treated like an adult when you were my apprentice," Obi-Wan reminded him.

Anakin shrugged. "I've learned to enjoy life since then."

"Is that what you call it?"

"Don't start with me. Let's go have some fun," Anakin said. "I want to mess with apprentice Yoda."

Ahsoka soon joined them. After giving her the rundown of what was going on, and marking her, she asked, "So…is there a person for every second? If so, there'd be trillions of me alone, and I'm just an apprentice."

Qui-Gon shook his head. "I do not know what the science of it is. I only know that this planet represents different time periods merged into one."

"Still, it's cool," Anakin said. "Let's walk around."

Obi-Wan looked regretfully at Qui-Gon. "Come with us, Master," he urged him.

Anakin raised an eyebrow and murmured so that only Obi-Wan could hear, "I thought you'd let go of him a long time ago. It's not healthy to have attachments, as you told me numerous times." Says the man that is in a relationship with a Senator. Like, a marriage relationship. Just saying.

Obi-Wan sighed. "I know, but…" He hesitated. "If you lost me—if I were to die right now—how would you feel?"

Anakin would have inserted a joke there, but the situation was too serious. He put an arm around Obi-Wan's shoulders. "I would never be the same," he said solemnly. "If someone were to kill you, I would track them down until I could meet with them face-to-face and tear them _limb from limb_."

Obi-Wan smiled. "I know I should scold you for this, but I can't. That is very touching and I appreciate that you care."

"You're my brother, Obi-Wan. My brother and my friend. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

"So you understand, then, why I missed Qui-Gon the way I did."

Anakin nodded. "You know how those bonds are. Mentors and apprentices." He glanced at Ahsoka. "Take me and Snips for example. I used to hate the idea of having her as an apprentice, but…"

Obi-Wan nodded. "You don't have to explain. I know where you're coming from." Obi-Wan decided not to mention the conflict that he had felt in taking Anakin on. He had been so frustrated that the boy had replaced him in Qui-Gon's eyes. He didn't matter as much to the Jedi Master when the slave from Tatooine came along. Obi-Wan would never admit his feelings on the matter to Anakin. Especially since they shared such a strong bond now that they'd gotten to know each other better.

"Come on, Master," Anakin said, punching Obi-Wan lightly in the arm. "Let's quit being sappy and start exploring this place. If it's just like Coruscant, we should know our way around."

"Right. Let's go."

While they were having this conversation, Kit and Qui-Gon had been talking about the possibilities of the Planet of Time. "I wonder if the enemies might show up and kill everybody," Kit said. "You know, a Sith army might just come up and destroy every Jedi here. There'd be a full-scale war."

"Don't jinx it, Fisto," Obi-Wan said, turning. "What would happen if people die in this planet?" he asked Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon shrugged. "Just because I live here does not mean I am an expert."

"Wait…don't you age?" Anakin asked.

"No, I don't. I don't get any older. Time passes, but it doesn't at the same time. We are frozen in a moment, so to speak."

"This is too mind-boggling for me," Kit said.

Anakin silently agreed. The idea of this planet made his head hurt. "Maybe we should get out of here soon," he suggested.

"No—we've got to see baby Yoda first!" Ahsoka insisted.

"Right. We'll see baby Yoda, and then we'll be on our way," Anakin decided. "Coming, Master Qui-Gon?"

Qui-Gon nodded. "Of course."

They walked around Coruscant awhile, watching various versions of themselves either walking or running through the halls. At last, they saw Yoda in apprentice form, playing eagerly with a mini Plo Koon. A larger version of Plo was watching with amusement. "Hello there, Master Qui-Gon. Ahsoka, it's good to see you."

Ahsoka bowed. "Hi, Master Plo." She grinned a grin that was reserved only for Plo Koon, who had taken her in. The bond they shared was unmatched.

"So _that's_ what Yoda looks like as a kid. He looks much less wrinkly. He isn't balding, either," Anakin said.

"Show some respect," Obi-Wan scolded.

"Look at him, though! He looks so cool!" Kit said, defending Anakin.

Obi-Wan nodded, laughing. "I suppose you're right," he said.

Kit suddenly frowned. "Do you sense that disturbance?" he asked them.

Anakin and Obi-Wan's expressions soon matched Kit's. Ahsoka did not feel anything. "What is it?" Anakin wondered.

Kit shivered. "The Dark Side."

Sure enough, a dark figure approached them. Qui-Gon grabbed Anakin's arm. "We must get out of here," he said. "Quickly! Follow me." Anakin tried to protest that he could defend himself from whatever was there, but the Jedi Master would not listen. He kept tugging insistently. "You must not see that," he said. "It will ruin the balance of things. None of you should even be here!"

Qui-Gon successfully managed to pull them away from the man in the dark suit. Though the four travelers did not know it, Qui-Gon was right. The figure had a dark helmet, a hard suit of armor, and an ominous breathing sound. Anakin's future was standing in the hallway.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! What do you guys think, eh? I'm sure you all know who the dude at the end was. Need I say it? If you know anything about Star Wars, you should know. If you don't know who it is, then why are you reading this in the first place? Ha, just rambling. Review, everyone! As if I need to ask. Everyone's been really good about reviews, which makes me very happy. Gah! I'm rambling again. Hope you liked it!**


	11. Opposite Day!

**Hey people! Thank you to everyone that read and reviewed. This fic is getting lots of love. Spread the love! While you're at it, let it overlap into _Invasion. _I promise it's worth it to read.**

**DarkAngel620: Gotta love awkward moments. I wonder what would happen, though, if they met. That would mess up Lucas's entire story, though, so yeah…**

**laureas: Droid planet; good idea. It's now on the List of Destiny. Consider your idea a contribution to my fic.**

**AaylaKit: Yeah…That planet was difficult to do. I actually did a Physics project once. I used MovieMaker to make a "movie" of sorts about how Star Wars defies the laws of Physics. Of course, at the end, I said that it'd be no fun if it followed the laws of Physics.**

**Ayy Kaim: Ah, I got the pronunciation wrong because I've only taken Spanish in school. And thank you for spreading the word! I got a review from Sparky that said that you and AaylaKit sent the link. Awesome!**

**Pergjithshme: Touching moment, eh? Obi and Ani truly care about each other.**

**LadySaxophone: Thanks! And sure, my sister has connections to both Obi and Kit, so I'll ask her. I'm sure Kit would love to go to your planet. Dancing is his specialty (in my Fanfiction universe anyway). Ewan's voice is so awesome. Random-fan803, my sister, swoons over it.**

**Sparky: Good questions. I'm not sure where young Obi went. I kinda forgot about him. And Vader just entered the building, so he's probably going to attack everyone "off-screen" so to speak. It's a complicated planet of my imagination. Even I don't know the answer to most of the questions it poses.**

**Cult of Personality: Yup. That's what's up.**

* * *

"What gives, Master Qui-Gon?" Anakin asked. "I'm fully capable of taking care of myself."

"But you are the real Anakin Skywalker," Qui-Gon said. "If you were to die here, then that would be the end of everything. This planet would be in ruins. The future is set out before you, based on your future decisions. If you died, that would completely destroy the future. There is a delicate balance that must not be broken. You need to leave. Now. As much as I love to see Obi-Wan again, I cannot let you stay here where there is so much risk."

"We understand," Kit said seriously. He hated being serious, but this was a serious matter. "Hopefully the Portal will come soon."

Obi-Wan gazed sadly at the Time Planet's version of his former Master. Just as he was about to speak, the Portal appeared behind Kit. "I suppose it's time to say goodbye," Obi-Wan said regretfully. Anakin put a hand on his shoulder. He did not pull away. "I know this is mostly an illusion, and you are not the real Qui-Gon, but…"

"Time to go, Obi-Wan," Anakin said quietly.

"Farewell, Master," he said. As he said it, a smaller version of himself rushed up and hugged Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan felt his heart wrench as Qui-Gon put a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"Do not grieve," Qui-Gon said to the real Obi-Wan. "Be mindful of the present and do not dwell too much on the past."

"Of course." Obi-Wan stepped through the Portal first without looking back.

Kit waved to a duplicate of himself. "See ya, Sexy!" he said, and then dove into the Portal. Ahsoka laughed and joined. Anakin gave Qui-Gon and little Obi one last, sad look, and followed. He was still bewildered about the Sith that he had been pulled away from. He figured he'd push it to the back of his mind for now. There was another planet to explore.

* * *

"Okay, where are we now?" Anakin asked. "I'm getting a bit tired."

"Hi!" a voice greeted them. An Obi-Wan look-alike bounded up to join the weary group. "I'm Obi-Wan. How's it going?"

Anakin's eyebrows shot up. "Okay, tiredness gone. Dude, where are we?"

"You're in an Alternate Universe!" the other Obi-Wan said. He looked at the real Obi-Wan. "Technically, I'm you. Except I'm the _complete opposite_. Fun, right?" He looked around, then whispered, "You know what's really fun? Flying. You know what else is fun? Flying erratically. And you know what else else is fun? Jumping off a ship that is flying at top speed."

Anakin grinned. "You've tried that?"

"Only every day!" Alternate Obi exclaimed. "Don't you?"

Anakin shook his head. "I would, if Obi-Wan would stop going on about how dangerous it is and how important my well-being is and blah, blah, blah."

"Your safety is no joke, Anakin. Remember our conversation earlier?" He nudged him lightly. "The feeling is mutual. I do not want to lose you."

A new voice interrupted before Anakin could say anything. "Obi-Wan, what, dare I ask, are you doing now?" It was Anakin's voice. The real Anakin looked around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. "_Please_ tell me you aren't trying to convince innocents to become part of your schemes."

Anakin's eyebrows rose even more, if that was possible. "Is that supposed to be me? Because that's so unlike me that it isn't even funny."

Kit frowned uncertainly. "I'd hate to see me."

"Oh gosh," Ahsoka said, not entirely sure if she wanted to find out.

Alternate Obi laughed. "Want me to do an impression?" He put his hand to his ear as an imaginary phone. "Hello, Obi-Wan. Could you keep that infernal noise down? I'm _trying_ to be _ boring_."

Kit put a hand over his mouth. "No. Way. We've got to get out of here. I don't want to meet him. Can he at least dance?"

Alternate Obi shook his head. "I tried to teach him. He told me I look like an idiot and that I should take on a more _sophisticated _and _practical_ approach to life."

"You know who I want to meet? _Mace_!" Anakin blurted eagerly.

"That _would_ be interesting," Kit agreed. "I guess we could stay a little longer. I really don't want to run into the other me, though."

"That is probably inevitable," Alternate Ani said. "He isn't exactly dormant. He is very active in the Jedi community. I personally consider him an outstanding agent of the Force. I do not understand why immature children like Obi-Wan do not understand this."

"YO what is UP, Ani?" yet another new voice interjected.

"Oh no," Alternate Ani groaned. "Get out of here, Master Windu. We do not need to be poisoned by your presence. And how many times do I have to tell you _not to call me that_?"

"Oh, lighten up," Mace said, landing from a ship that had been flying at…well…a _lot_ of miles per hour. "Nobody likes you anyway, Anakin. So who're your friends? Oh." He surveyed the group. "The real ones are here, aren't they?"

Alternate Ani nodded. "So you _ought _to be on your best behavior. We have guests."

"Chillax. I'm sure they're cool." He strolled up to Kit and raised a hand. Kit promptly high-fived him. "Yup, they're the real deal all right. So is the real Obi-Wan, like, exceedingly boring?"

Kit shook his head. "Actually, no. Obi here has earned the Awesomeness Status."

Alternate Mace and Alternate Obi exchanged shocked glances. "No way, seriously?" Alternate Mace asked. "That is seriously legit. I mean, it's a huge honor—and a huge deal—to get such a status. Who dubbed him Awesome?"

Kit grinned. "I did. And I do not hand out that Status lightly. Anakin and I have it, but Obi-Wan's singing made him earn it. He is a seriously amazing singer."

Alternate Mace looked at Alternate Obi. "Sing us a few lines," he urged. "This guy is good at singing, too, though it's probably a different kind."

Alternate Obi grinned and busted out singing "I'm a Believer." He even threw some dance moves in. Alternate Mace danced as well, while Alternate Ani rolled his eyes.

"So uncivilized," he mumbled.

Obi-Wan didn't realize that he would be using those exact words one day. "Not a song that I would pick, but still a good one nonetheless."

Anakin nodded. "My former Master is pretty awesome in his own way. Maybe not as awesome as you," he said, turning to Alternate Obi, "but I would still stick with the original. He's important to me in his own way. I wouldn't replace him for the awesomest dude in the world."

Obi-Wan was surprised by this. "You…You would be willing to give up someone who obviously surpasses me in awesomeness?"

Anakin nodded. "Of course."

"What is going on here?" Someone who looked exactly like Kit—except _way _stiffer and _way_ more uptight—strolled up to join them. "I am trying to meditate, but an interesting presence compelled me to step away and investigate."

"Ew, is that supposed to be me?" Kit asked, inspecting the newcomer with the opposite of interest.

Alternate Kit made a face. "Is that supposed to be _me_?" he asked, redirecting the question at Kit. "I sense…something that I do not like."

"Is it awesomeness?" Kit asked, smirking.

"No. It is cockiness."

"Hey, I'm not cocky!" Kit objected. "Okay, I officially hate this guy."

"The feeling is mutual, counterpart," Alternate Kit said tensely. "If you wish to be immature as Master Windu and Master Kenobi are, then please do your shenanigans somewhere else. I am expected at a very important meeting. I do not want to be disturbed by your childish ways."

"Dude, you don't even know me," Kit protested, his voice hinting at a growl. "You know what you need?" He pulled out an iPod. "Music!" He started blaring "Everybody Dance Now" out of his device and promptly started dancing to it.

"Hey, where'd you get the iPod?" Anakin asked.

Kit shrugged and continued dancing. "A lot of people pull random things from inside their clothes. I'm no different. It takes a lot of awesomeness to do this. Anyways, I always have an iPod on me. It calms me when I'm ticked and pumps me up when I need pumping up!"

Alternate Kit shook his head. "I do not approve," he said.

"Well, deal with it," Kit and Alternate Mace said at the same time.

"Wow, that was creepy," Kit said, his eyes wide. "I never thought I'd say this, but Mace—you're kriffing awesome! Never have I ever agreed with Mace on something." He turned to Obi-Wan. "Can I take him home? Please? I can replace him with the real Mace. No one would see it coming."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "As cool as that would be, I have do disagree with the notion," he said. "This Alternate Universe has a delicate balance just like ours does. If you switch two people out, you're disturbing that balance." When Kit yawned, he quickly added, "Not that I don't agree that it would be a fun thing to do. I'm just taking a precaution. You don't want to mess with something that should not be tampered with."

Kit shrugged. "I guess I can respect that. Who wants to have a dance party?"

"No!" Anakin shouted. "No more dance parties! I'm still about to drop from exhaustion. When do we take a break from exploring and rest awhile?"

Obi-Wan frowned. "I'm sure the Portal will give us a break. Would it be okay if we stayed here?"

Alternate Kit shook his head. "_You_ can," he said, nodding toward Obi-Wan. "I would not appreciate those two ruining this peaceful place. It's bad enough that I have to deal with Mace and Obi-Wan here." The two Alternates chuckled, knowing that he was referring to them. "I'm not sure about that one." He pointed at Ahsoka. "I'm getting neutral feelings from her."

"You can all stay," Alternate Obi said. "I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

"Great!" Anakin said. "Let's get some rest, gang. We've got a lot of exploring to do the next day."

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, "Everybody Dance Now", or "I'm a Believer". I also don't own the SpongeBob elusion.**


	12. Opposite Day: Round Two

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! OMG, I feel so bad for not updating, but it was out of my hands. First of all, I moved. So it took a while to get moved into the new house. _Then_ my laptop got a virus. My fault. I won't express my opinion of a certain video website, as it might get me in trouble on Fanfiction. However, all I can tell you guys is that some sites are dangerous and I do not recommend putting your computers at risk. Well, I fixed it. Sort of. Everything was wiped, but fear not. My fanfics were saved on a flash drive, so I had no trouble updating. Sorry again, and let it be known that my updates will come more frequently. I posted this message on _Invasion_ as well so that everyone who knows me will understand why the updates stopped for a period of time. I sure hope I didn't lose anyone over it!**

**Pergjithshme: Sure! I love this planet. Tis my favorite.**

**DarkAngel620: Haha, I fangirl over Loki. All the time. I know what you're feeling there.**

**Whip-Owl: Yeah, I see it so often in cartoons that I had to implement it somehow through our good friend Kit Fisto. And that's a good point that I didn't consider. Wow. I hope that doesn't take away from the hilarity of the story.**

**Ayy Kaim: Well, I'm doing another chapter on the Alternate Planet, so I think I'll incorporate those people! Good idea. And YES OMG Thor! I wonder what Alternate Loki would be like. Not very cunning and not very smart, probably. And here I am, as you predicted, rambling about Loki. Hey, here's a cool idea. If I added Kit to **_**Invasion,**_** would that make you happy? XD**

**AaylaKit: Ha, I love having two sisters review my stories. I get updates on what the other is up to. *grins mischievously* I'm having a Loki moment, sorry. And yeah, she told me some good ideas for alternate people.**

**LadySaxophone: Ha! You got unexpected visitors! I think I shall go join in on the dance party. Thanks for the great review!**

**Cult of Personality: More you shall have! :D**

* * *

The gang rested for the night. When Anakin awoke the next morning, he sat up, slightly confused. _Why am I in a strange room?_ His surroundings were very familiar. It looked like a room in the Jedi Temple, yet it was wrong somehow. The coloring was strange, and this was definitely not the layout of his room. "Oh, right," he said, slapping his forehead. "The Portal." Anakin let himself fall back onto the pillow. He groaned softly, wishing for the quasi-comfort of home. "Even the war sounds good right about now."

"You won't be saying that once you've met Master Yoda," Obi-Wan mused, walking in and sitting on Anakin's bed.

It took a moment for Anakin to remember exactly what planet they were on. "Yoda…You mean…wait…" His mind was a jumbled mess. "Remind me where we are?"

Before Obi-Wan could reply, a small figure leapt up out of nowhere and started jumping up and down on Anakin's horizontal form. "Get up, get up, get up!" the stranger yelled gleefully.

The look on Anakin's face was priceless. "Get off, get off, get off!" he responded, trying to shove the familiar-looking green creature off of him. "What the kriff, Yoda?"

Yoda grinned widely. "You were sleeping like a lazy lump. I had to get you up." He started bouncing on Anakin again. "You can't catch me, na-na-na-na-na! Oops, too slow! Up, almost got me! Just kidding. Dude, you move like a sluggish bantha at the break of dawn. At least _try_ to—ow!" Yoda was cut off as he was flung across the room. He hit a wall and then collapsed on the ground, motionless.

"Dude, you killed him!" Kit gasped, standing in the doorway. "He may have the mind of a kid, but he's still my Master!"

"He's your Alternate Self's Master," Anakin said. "He'll be fine. I didn't hurt him. He'll be up any second now."

As Anakin predicted, Yoda sprang to his feet, bored of the faking-an-injury game. "I'm telling!" he threatened, pointing an accusing finger at Anakin.

"Who're you going to tell?" Kit asked, genuinely curious. "You're the baddest dude in the galaxy. You and Mace rule this building. There _is_ no higher authority than yourself."

Yoda pondered this a moment. "You're right! I'm going to…call a meeting. Right now. To discuss your punishment." He grinned, as if this was some sort of really fun game that he was winning. "Come with me, Real Kenobi and Real Fisto. You can be my squires! Escort this scumbag to the Council Chamber."

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Oh, boy. This'll be fun." He reluctantly pulled himself to his feet and let Kit take one arm and Obi-Wan the other. "The hilarious part is the fact that you two are actually _listening _to him."

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Two reasons."

"We're bored and it's fun," Kit said, summing up what Obi-Wan was about to say in five easy words.

Obi-Wan nodded. "Exactly."

Anakin decided to just laugh and go with it. "Okay, then." They walked awhile in silence, so Anakin decided to be conversational. "So how does this planet function anyway? Back home, the people who run the place are the strongest leaders and the most mature out of everyone else. If Yoda is…well…child-like, and Mace is no better, then who's running the Order? And what about the Senate?"

"Ooh, I'd like to visit the Senate!" Kit exclaimed excitedly. "Let's go there after Anakin gets his sentence." He chuckled, wondering what the Council could possibly do to the Jedi Knight when most of the people on it were probably less than serious in nature.

They soon found out. "Yoda, what's up?" Alternate Saesee Tiin eyed Anakin. "Ooh, did he do something bad? Are we calling a meeting over it? We haven't had anything exciting go on here in a while, you know," he said, turning from one face to another. He started talking faster and more emphatically. "Am I talking too much? People tell me that all the time. Especially Kit. He's so boring. All he talks about is the welfare of the Order and blah, blah, blah. He never has fun and he hardly ever talks. I wonder what the Order would be like without him. I mean, I love to have fun and stuff, but sometimes we need a little serious leadership. Boundaries should be drawn, I think, between seriousness and fun. There should be balance. That's my philosophy. Congratulations. You've just been given words of wisdom from Saesee Tiin. I hope I made your day, because I just _love_ to talk to people, and—"

"Saesee?" Alternate Obi said at the same time that Alternate Kit said "Master Tiin?"

Alternate Saesee turned to the two Alternate Jedi. "Yeah?"

"Shut up," Alternate Obi said. "You're getting on their nerves. They're just too polite to tell you otherwise."

"I wouldn't have put it _that_ way, Kenobi," Alternate Kit scowled. "You need to show more respect to your fellow Masters. I still wonder why you were put on this Council in the first place."

Alternate Obi shrugged. "They determine what happens here, you know."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "We do?"

"Of course!" Alternate Yoda said. "Whenever you make a decision, it affects us. We're connected to you. If Kit was kicked off the Council, then Alternate Kit would be as well. Get my drift?"

"Yeah, we do, but that'll _never_ happen," Kit said. "I'm too awesome to be kicked off the Council." He grinned, indicating that his words should not be taken as egotistical. He was just having fun, as always.

"If I had a choice, I would get half the Council dismissed from the Order," Alternate Kit sniffed.

"I agree," Alternate Anakin said. "But, unfortunately, we are tied to them. We have no choice but to do what is done in the real Order."

"You two would be kicked to the curb if it was up to me," Alternate Yoda said, his eyes on Alternate Anakin and Alternate Kit. "You're both way too boring for my taste."

"Well _someone_ has to function in order to keep the Jedi running," Alternate Anakin pointed out. "Obviously most of you are incompetent to get anything done."

"We save lives just like you," Alternate Obi objected. "Just differently and with more…style."

"Let's just get this meeting started," Alternate Yoda said. "What's it about again?"

"Well, considering _you_ called it, you should know," Alternate Anakin said.

Yoda shrugged. "I forget. It doesn't matter. Let's just—"

Before they could continue, a new figure joined their conversation. "Hey! I'm coming in, so don't freak out." Anakin, Obi-Wan, Kit, and Ahsoka, who had joined the group not too long ago, gasped at the sight of young Boba Fett. "It's raining outside. Did anyone notice? I'm wasted off juice, guys! What're you discussing? Is it important? Why are clones of yourselves here?"

"Oh my gosh, he's awesome!" Kit gasped. "Can we take him home? _Please_?"

Obi-Wan sighed patiently. "The delicate balance between this planet and ours is critical. Our being here alone is probably affecting the state of things."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Ooh, are you from the Real Universe? Awesome sauce! Can I have your autographs or something? I at least want some pictures to post on Spacebook. I can't believe you're actually here!" He started bouncing eagerly. "I'm feeling hyper. Can you tell? You probably can. Do you like ice cream? I love ice cream. I had a whole container of it before I decided to come over here and see what's up in the Order."

Alternate Kit eyed Alternate Boba. "Arrest him. He's a hostile."

The real Kit burst out laughing. "_Him_? You must be joking."

"No, he's not," Alternate Anakin said. "He's considered a hostile in your universe, so he is in ours as well."

"What are his crimes? Being too kriffing happy all the time?" Anakin asked skeptically. He was glad that this Alternate Council had their minds off of him. He wasn't particularly eager to undergo a punishment from a parody of the real Council.

"It matters not," Alternate Kit said. "Just take him away."

"No way!" Alternate Boba said, starting to run laps around the Council Chamber. "Kriff, why am I so jumpy? Can't…get…energy…out…" He finally stopped and collapsed on the floor. "Ugh. Sugar rush gone." He looked up at Obi-Wan. "Hi there." He was smiling broadly.

Obi-Wan smiled back. "Hello there."

"Let's go to the Senate!" Kit urged. "I want to see Alternate Bail and Alternate Amidala."

Anakin's eyes lit up instinctively at the mention of his wife. Obi-Wan was quick to notice and raised a questioning eyebrow. Anakin replied with a tiny shake of the head. Obi-Wan shrugged and said, "All right, then. The Senate it is."

"Come on, gang," Anakin urged, leading Ahsoka out. This whole thing was freaking him out a bit and he wanted to get out. The Senate would probably be even worse, but he hated the way Alternate Yoda was staring at him.

* * *

"Yeesh, who cares about the 'welfare' of Alderaan? Get me out of this mother-kriffing office or I'll snap." Alternate Bail was speaking to a hologram that the Jedi did not recognize. When he spotted them lingering in the doorway, he motioned for them to come in. "Just do what's necessary, dude, and leave me alone." He shut off the hologram. "What do _you_ want? Can't you see I'm busy?" He had his feet propped up on the desk, his entire figure was disheveled, and a drink of some sort was in his hand. He most certainly did _not_ look like a busy man at the moment.

"Um, hey there," Anakin said.

"Let's see what we've got here," Obi-Wan said. "The real Bail is smart, responsible, patient, and very polite. So this guy would have to be irresponsible, impatient, slobby, and—"

"Downright stupid," Kit finished.

Alternate Bail narrowed his eyes. "What are you? Cops? Whatever it is, it wasn't me."

"Bail, what's going on in there?" a new voice drawled. Anakin was the first to turn to look at Alternate Padmé, who was just as unkempt as the Alternate Alderaanian Senator. She let out a loud, obnoxious burp, followed by laughter. "Did you hear that?"

"Who didn't?" Obi-Wan mumbled.

"I can top that one," Alternate Bail said, removing his feet from the desk. He burped even louder.

The Jedi laughed nervously. They were silenced by a glare from Alternate Padmé. "What are _you_ laughing at?" she demanded.

"Um…_you_?" Kit answered, as if it was obvious. Well, technically, it _was_ pretty obvious.

"Well, stop it," Alternate Padmé said. "Who are you, anyway?"

"Much more civilized than you," Ahoska said, speaking up for the first time in a while.

Kit held out his hand for a high-five, which Ahsoka promptly slapped. Anakin, however, was uncertain. He didn't particularly like this version of his wife. The real Padmé was so sweet and considerate. This one was downright rude. It was to be expected, right? Hating this person reflected just how much he loved his true wife.

"Look, we'd love to chat with you lovely people, but we've got to go. Portal's here," Kit said, pointing behind him. Sure enough, it was there.

"What is _that_?" the Alternate Senators asked in unison.

"Our ticket away from this madness," Anakin said. "See ya!" He practically dove into the Portal.

"Hey, that's my move!" Kit objected. "Ah, well. At least I can still do this." He saluted and dove in after Anakin.

"Goodbye…erm…Senators," Obi-Wan said, embarrassed. He stepped through without another word, followed by Ahoska.

* * *

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I don't own anything Star Wars related, nor do I own Myspace, Facebook, or any combination of the two. I also don't own the Brock's Dub reference, "I'm wasted off juice."**

**AN: So I've discovered, as you all have, that Fanfiction has adopted a new system of the reviewing system, where everyone without an account is referred to as **_**Guest**_**. Might I make a request to make up a penname for yourself and write it at the bottom of the review so I know who you are? That way, I can do my AU shoutouts to each reviewer without saying Guest #1 and Guest #2. That would be difficult for me and difficult for those who reviewed to distinguish which reviewer I'm referring to. For example, if I wrote a review, it would go something like this:**

"**Blah, blah, blah, words, words, words. Reviewed by Maralexa" or something like that. Just do it to make things easier on everyone. AaylaKit did this in her latest review on **_**Invasion**_**. I'd like it if everyone did the same. Thanks in advance!**


	13. Jedi's Travels

**You PROBABLY know where this chapter is going based on the name. Disclaimer at the bottom. What do you think? Did I update quickly enough? I hope I did. I'm reaching a point where I have a bunch of ideas, but I don't have the writing ability to make an entire chapter planet out of them. I will actually combine two or three planets in one chapter sometimes. Is that okay with you guys?**

**Pergjithshme: The Opposite Planet is definitely an all-time favorite planet for me. Again, sorry for not updating for so long.**

**Whip-Owl: I know right! It's hard to imagine how it works. If I got into the technical science of it, my head would hurt and the story would be boring.**

**Guest (AaylaKit?): YES Alternate Boba was awesome! You have a point, though. The real one probably would kill the alternate one.**

**Aira Skies: Yup, Bail Organa is my favorite character so I just _had_ to do something funny with his alternate.**

**DarkAngel620: Nice sum-up. :)**

**Ayy Kaim: I've seen it twice in theaters too! It's #1 on my list of movies I must buy whilst I am in college. AND I have the Avengers Theme on my iPod. Haha, love the signoff. Maralexa is also burdened with a glorious purpose: to provide Fanfiction Entertainment to you beautiful people! :D**

* * *

Obi-Wan was the first to awaken. _This is strange…Why does my head hurt? We don't usually pass out from the Portal, do we…? I mean, we have in the past, but I thought we were used to it by now._ He came to the conclusion that whatever happened to them was directly related to the planet that they were going to. For some, they saw images. Like on the Evil Planet, they had nightmares and woke up in a barren wasteland.

Anakin was beside him. Because Obi-Wan was so deep in thought, the Jedi Master did not realize their surroundings. Anakin did. Almost immediately. "What the kriff!" he shouted, breaking Obi-Wan's concentration.

"Anakin, what—" Obi-Wan began, then suddenly realized exactly why Anakin was yelling.

They were tied to the ground. By thousands of long, thin ropes.

"I hate being restrained!" Anakin scowled, trying to struggle free.

"The more you struggle, the more you'll exhaust yourself," Obi-Wan warned him. "The best thing to do is relax and wait until whoever did this comes back to check on us. I'm sure we won't just be left here to die."

"Obi-Wan. We're in the middle of a war. Have you not seen the types of beings that tie innocents up and leave them to die? You've been around longer than I have. You're a Master for crying out loud. You know full well that we shouldn't rule out the possibility that no one is coming for us."

"Try to look at the bright side, Anakin," Obi-Wan said.

"Yeah, Anakin," Kit said, waking up. "Always consider the glass half full."

"The bright side? Are you _seriously_ trying to make me look at the bright side here? You of all people, Obi-Wan? Kit I understand, but _you_?" He closed his eyes. "Master Fisto, when a glass if half full, it is also half empty. Anyways, why use that reference? The glass is definitely empty. The sun is blazing hot, we're tied up somewhere and we can't even see where because we're so tightly secured…Where's the half full there?"

"He does have a point," Ahsoka said wearily. "Where is the bright side to this?"

"Well…you've been graced with the presence of Kit the Awesome. As long as I'm breathing, the glass is always half full." Kit smirked. Somehow, he always managed to lighten the mood in even the bleakest of situations. The constant smile on his face was uplifting to even Anakin at this point. "Anakin, don't you have the Awesomeness Status? Why so down?"

Anakin didn't want to admit that he was sick of the Portal's games. He wanted to get home to his wife. While they were sight-seeing different dimensions, the war raged on. The Republic needed them. Needed _him_. "I'm just a little homesick is all," he admitted at last. "I'm sure we're missed. I can't help but wonder how everything is functioning back home."

"Don't worry. We'll get home," Ahsoka reassured him. "The Portal will bring us back to Coruscant when it's ready. Until then, there's nothing you can do. Instead of wasting time and energy worrying, why not enjoy yourself? Being homesick will change nothing. It'll just make you miserable. Focus on the moment and let the future come when the future will come."

Anakin blinked. "Did I just get a philosophical lesson from my padawan?" he asked, bemused. Ahsoka's statements had made him forget being homesick almost completely. Though Padmé would not leave his mind at any point in time, he could at least relax a little.

Kit and Obi-Wan were as surprised as Anakin. "Um…Very good, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan said.

"Yeah. That was…awesome! You're on your way to earning the Awesomeness Status!" Kit said. "I'd slap a high-five, but I think with the given circumstances you'd understand why I must refrain." He winked.

"Ahem." A new voice interrupted their discussion. Right next to Anakin's head was a tiny little person about the size of an average index finger. He was about middle-aged and wore silver armor and a gold cape. "You're up."

"Yeah, we're up," Kit said. "Want to explain what's going on here?"

"The beach you lay on is part of my territory. You have committed the criminal act of falling from the sky. We know not where your magic comes from, but we will find out soon enough. You will come with me, or I will have no choice but to use violence."

"You and what army?" Anakin asked.

"Anakin, don't you know anything?" Kit hissed. "You never ask someone that, or they'll whip out their big fancy army and _bang_ you're dead."

"I'm sure an army of minis won't be much of a threat," Anakin pointed out. "Ow!" The moment he had said that, a mini arrow had punctured his cheek. "Hey!"

"Say hello to my little friends," the not-so-friendly greeter said.

"Ha! I see what you did there!" Kit laughed. "You know…little…because…you're little…and…I'll shut up now."

They were pretty much surrounded by an army of little people dressed in old-style armor just like the first guy's. They all had bows and arrows at the ready.

"Hey now," Kit said. "No need for that. I'd put my hands up to indicate peaceful intentions, but sadly, I am bound."

"Let us negotiate about this," Obi-Wan urged.

"If I could reach my lightsaber, it would be _aggressive_ negotiations," Anakin said through his teeth.

"Be nice, Master," Ahsoka said. "I'm sure these guys are just afraid of us."

"We fear nothing!" one of the mini soldiers shouted.

"Could you keep your voice down?" another demanded. "You sound like claps of thunder!"

Anakin and Kit chuckled. Obi-Wan flashed a warning glare, but finally laughed as well. The idea of sounding like thunder to a bunch of mini people was pretty hilarious. Even the fact that they were tied to the ground seemed trivial.

"What kind of witchcraft did you use?" an older voice asked. The army parted to reveal a little chief-type dude. "Falling from the sky is no easy task. You must be sorcerers. State your identities."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi," Obi-Wan introduced himself. "The other human is my former apprentice, Anakin Skywalker, and then there's his apprentice, Ahsoka Tano. The jokester over there is Kit Fisto."

"All right, I know your names. That's a start, I guess," the chief mumbled. "Now, what kind of magic do you possess?"

"We don't," Obi-Wan said.

"We have the Force," Ahsoka reminded him.

"Right!" Anakin felt stupid for not realizing this sooner. He could wipe these people out easily by using his powers.

Obi-Wan, knowing Anakin _so_ well, sensed his intentions. "Anakin, _think_. If you knock them all out, who will free us?" he whispered.

"You can't whisper here without the whole planet knowing what you're saying!" one of the soldiers barked.

"You intend to use your magic to wipe out my people," the chief said. "Why?"

"Why are you dressed like a traditional person while your 'people' have armor on?" Ahsoka asked.

"That is none of your concern. Explain this _Force_ of yours, or you will be executed at once," the chief ordered.

"Ooh, harsh," Kit chuckled. "If we don't tell you our secrets, you'll kill us on the spot! Some great leader you are. You don't even know who we are yet and you haven't even offered us a drink or anything!"

The chief pointed a spear at Kit's eye. "Don't make me use this."

Kit frowned. "Right. Um, Obi-Wan? Mr. Negotiator? You want to sort this out before I get a mother-kriffing _spear_ jabbed into my eyeball?"

"Of course," Obi-Wan said. "We have what are called Midi-cholorians. They reside in our cells and…well…basically make us more in-tune to the Force. We can use it in many ways. It gives us energy and power and allows us to manipulate things around us. We can do many things with the Force." He started to ramble on, falling into one of his familiar lectures that Anakin hated so much.

"All right, he gets the point," Anakin said. "You want an easier description?" He reached out into the Force and lifted the chief into the air. "That's the Force." A bunch of little arrows were fired at Anakin. Surprisingly, they stung quite a bit. Anakin immediately lost focus and let the chief drop. "Okay, stop already! I was just doing a demonstration!" His eyes watered. Thankfully, none of the arrows had gotten to them.

"Great, you ticked them off," Kit said, laughing. "At least that spear is away from my eye. Thanks, Anakin, for directing their anger away from me."

"You're welcome," Anakin scowled.

"This could be of great help to us," the chief said, getting up. "You realize that we could smite all our enemies with these four?" He looked around. "Are all of you this powerful?"

"Well, I don't like to brag, but I _am_ the most powerful Jedi around," Anakin said proudly.

"And the most arrogant," Kit added. Anakin rolled his eyes. "Oh, you know it's true."

"Cut their bonds," the chief ordered. "They're coming to the City."

The ropes were cut. The Jedi got up stiffly and stretched their sore limbs. Anakin started plucking arrow by arrow out of his skin. "How come they only fired on _me_?" he complained. "Ow."

"Because you're the only one that provoked them," Obi-Wan responded.

"Kit did, though," Anakin pointed out.

"Yes, and I almost got a spear to the eye, thank you very much."

Anakin shrugged. There was no arguing with that. Silently, the Jedi followed the large army all the way to civilization. There were towers and villages alike. Young and old, men, women, and children all resided within the city's limits. There was one building that stood out as the grandest. _It must be the chief's quarters,_ Anakin thought. _The place where he does business and stuff._

"Welcome to the City," the chief said. "If you cause trouble, you will be severely punished. If you help us, we will let you stay here in peace."

"How can they hurt us?" Kit wondered quietly.

Of course, his whisper could be heard. "I have an army," the chief said. "You will not be going anywhere anytime soon. Not even your mystical Force can keep you safe from my soldiers. We will fight to the death to save the City."

"That won't be necessary," Obi-Wan assured him. "We are keepers of the peace. We do not wish to start a quarrel with you. We will reside here peacefully, I promise."

"Good. Annabel, put them to work."

* * *

It turned out that "putting them to work" was a kind way of saying "work their arses off." Because the Jedi wanted to stay on these people's good side, they worked diligently. However, they collapsed with exhaustion every night. Anakin bit back every sharp remark he had, Kit kept the tone light, Obi-Wan theorized, and Ahsoka did as she was told.

Days passed. They didn't know how long they were there, but they were relieved when the end of each day came. The four of them silently pled for the Portal to come for them, but it did not.

"Are we stuck here?" Ahsoka asked one night.

"I'm not sure," Anakin said. "I hope not." Just as he said that, the beautiful Portal appeared to take them away. Without hesitating, Anakin shouted, "See ya, suckers!" and jumped through.

Kit laughed as the soldiers scrambled around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"What is this witchcraft?"

"What kind of sorcery is this?"

"Is this the Force they were talking about?"

Kit shrugged. "I don't know the answer to any of those questions," he admitted. "I do know one thing. I'm out. Peace!" He leapt after Anakin, followed by Obi-Wan and Ahsoka.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Gulliver's Travels references. I do not own Star Wars either.**

**AN: Thumbs up to everyone who thought "We have a Hulk" in response to the chief's statement "I have an army." Haha anyway, I've never read Gulliver's Travels nor seen the movie with Jack Black, but I know the part where the guy is tied down by a million little ropes and encounters a bunch of tiny people.**


	14. Once Upon a Time in a Galaxy Far Away

**Here's another update! Thusfar, I have about fifteen more ideas for planets, though at least six of them are going into one big montage chapter. So I'm basically saying that the end is drawing near, but fear not! It ain't over yet. :)**

**AaylaKit: Ha! EPIC LOKI QUOTE BATTLE! I wish I was there. And I thought of you and Ayy as I wrote the "I have an army" bit. I'd have to agree with your favorite line _and_ planet. They mention Niflheim in a deleted Thor scene. There's a Nornheim too. Lots of _heims_.**

**Whip-Owl: Dragons. Got it. And yeah, with this one, it's hard to get long chapters because I focus on one subject matter per chapter. My other story, _Invasion_, has the opposite problem. I find it hard to end chapters because I get so into it.**

**Ayy Kaim: Asgardian Jedi indeed! That'll be me one day. Ha, I was thinking of Loki as well when I was writing that. I haven't seen you review _Invasion_ for a while. Did you lose interest?**

**Guest: Wow, thanks!**

**Tiger of the Storm: Haha obsessions are fun. LOKI! Sorry. Fangirl moment. I couldn't help myself. I had to add the "I have an army" bit.**

**DarkAngel620: Good question. I was either too lazy to describe that or too eager to post my updates to get into any further detail. XD**

**Above the Winter Moonlight: Glad you like it! I'm sure a lot of people were thinking of the Hulk at that moment. I know I was! It doesn't take much to make me connect a moment to the Avengers. Or Loki.**

**Pergjithshme: Yeah, I was pretty lazy with that one. I promise you'll like this one better. I haven't seen the movie, so you'll have to bear with me on that. I honestly just wanted to get the chapter up so I could continue writing _Invasion_ because it's getting really fun to write!**

* * *

Anakin stepped out of the Portal, half-expecting to tumble or fall unconscious. This time, though, it was like stepping from one world into another. The other three had the same experience.

"Why do I get the funny feeling that I'm in a storybook?" Kit asked, sounding puzzled and suspicious at the same time.

"I CAN'T SLEEP!" a voice shouted, interrupting anyone who planned to comment on Kit's remark. A beautiful girl dressed in a princess-style gown strolled up to them. "I've been tossing and turning all night! I even tried counting sheep!"

"That's a common misconception," Obi-Wan said. "Counting sheep does nothing to help you sleep." He could not keep the amusement out of his voice.

"Whatever!" the girl yelled. "I just can't seem to fall asleep!" She grabbed Anakin's arms. "Help me."

"How do you expect me to do that?" he demanded.

"I don't know. Just do something!"

At that same moment, a big guy in his underwear paraded by. "Check out my gorgeous new robes!" he gushed.

Anakin awkwardly covered his apprentice's eyes. Kit coughed while Obi-Wan shifted uncomfortably.

"Ignore the Emperor and his ravishing new look," the girl said flippantly. "Help me with my problem!"

"I don't know what to tell you," Anakin said helplessly. "I've pulled lots of all-nighters. Sometimes, you just have to go without sleep. It happens."

"Maybe it's because I'm in a strange bed," the girl said thoughtfully.

"That could be possible," Obi-Wan agreed.

"I've never had problems sleeping in different beds before, though. That can't be it…" She paused. "Come to my room. Maybe you can check my mattress or something."

"All right," Kit said. When she wasn't looking, he made a "she's crazy" gesture. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka all agreed. The Emperor watched them disinterestedly, then marched away, strutting his stuff.

They encountered many things on their journey to the girl's room. They saw a gingerbread man run by. Yes, it was _running_. "Run, run as fast as you can! You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!" it called over its shoulder. Kit used the Force to lift it up. A bunch of people who were chasing it suddenly stopped as it rose into the air. When they saw that it had finally stopped running, they cheered.

The next thing they saw was a little chicken screaming its head off. "The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" it shouted. The Jedi glanced at the sky. Considering the fact that the planet was entirely unfamiliar and they had experienced a variety of things since they first stepped into the Portal, it was entirely possible that the sky could indeed fall. It wouldn't surprise them. However, the sky stayed where it was. People laughed at the little chicken. Ahsoka felt sorry for it, but Anakin quickly diverted her attention from it by pointing to something else that caught his eye.

Seven little men were marching in a line, singing loud and proud. "High ho, high ho, it's off to work we go!" Kit, for the fun of it, stopped to get their names: Happy, Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, and Doc.

"So they're all personality traits except the leader," Kit remarked.

"Please leave the dwarfs alone," the girl scowled. "I still need my beauty sleep!"

"Fine, fine," Anakin said, pulling Kit away from the seven little men. Reluctantly, Kit followed, only to be distracted again by a gigantic plant that resembled a beanstalk. Anakin followed his friend's gaze and almost fell over in surprise. "What's _that_?"

"I don't know, but it's huge and green and I think we should climb it," Kit said.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "What have we got to lose? We'll be right back," he assured the girl. "This won't take long."

The girl frowned. "I wouldn't do that…"

The Jedi used their Force-jumping abilities to climb up very fast. It was a long climb, but not too tedious. By the time they reached the top, they were in the clouds.

"Look, there's a castle over there!" Ahsoka said, pointing.

"Ahsoka, that's impossible," Kit said. "A cloud is a visible body of very fine water droplets or ice particles suspended in the atmosphere at altitudes ranging up to several miles above sea level. Therefore, it is too unstable to support the mass and density of the materials that would make up a castle, let alone a castle itself."

"Um, that's a lot of big words, Kit…" Anakin said.

"Sorry, I kind of had a nerd moment, there," Kit said, chuckling. "What I _meant_ to say was that clouds are not like the ground. They do not hold stuff. Got it? Good."

"Dude, there seriously is a castle, though," Anakin said.

"Well maybe it's made of clouds," Kit challenged. "Ever thought of that? If you're so confident, then why don't you _step_ on that cloud and plummet to your death?"

"Challenge accepted, Master Fisto," Ahsoka said.

"No," Obi-Wan cut in. "No, no, and no. Don't do it. That's an order."

"Do it. That's a dare," Kit said.

Ahsoka grinned and leapt into the air. She landed on the cloud and bounced back up a little. "It's like a fluffy mattress!" she called happily.

Kit grinned and leapt after her. "Smart Aleck moment over," he announced.

Obi-Wan stared after them, eyes wide. Anakin punched him lightly in the arm. "Dares always outweigh orders. You should know that."

"Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum!" a voice boomed. "I smell the blood of a…what _is_ that? A fish?"

"Ruuuuuuude!" Kit yelled.

"Dude, get out of here!" a boy yelled, running toward them. "The giant is coming!"

"But I'm not a kriffing fish!" Kit objected.

"Doesn't matter—just _get down the kriffing beanstalk_!" Obi-Wan shouted.

"Do you remember the Giant Planet?" Anakin asked, motioning for Kit to hurry. "Do you want to face another giant? I don't. Get your butt over here!"

Kit and Ahsoka bounded over to join them and they all scrambled down the beanstalk together.

"I resent the fish comment," Kit said when they reached the bottom. "I demand a lawyer."

"There are no lawyers here, dude," the boy said. "Name's Jack by the way. You've got to be careful up there. If he spots the beanstalk, we're dead."

"_You're_ dead," Obi-Wan corrected. "We're not going back up there."

Jack shrugged. "See you later, then." He strolled away, right past a beautiful girl with extremely long blonde hair.

"Are you going to help me now?" the girl from earlier asked.

"I guess we have to, if you're that persistent," Anakin said. "You coming, Kit?"

"I'm not a fish," he growled.

"No one said you were. Let's go," Obi-Wan said.

The Jedi were on their way once again. Three bears walked by. One was tall and distinctly male, one was feminine in stature, and the third was younger and smaller. They looked royally ticked off. "I knew I shouldn't have left the door unlocked!" the mother said.

"Who knew a pretty blonde girl would go in and steal my porridge, break my chair, and sleep in my bed?" the smaller bear complained. "She didn't even touch any of your food!"

"We'll find her," the father assured them.

"Ooh, I do _not_ want to be that girl right now," Ahsoka said, glancing from one bear to another. "They don't look too happy."

"The three bears are actually very social," the girl said. "They just don't like it when Goldilocks steals Baby Bear's porridge. She does it every week."

"All right then," Obi-Wan said. "Moving on."

"Aww, Master! Look at the ducks!" A little line of ducks marched up to Ahsoka. They all seemed very eager to see her, but the last one flinched away as if she was going to scorn at it. It was very different from the others. Ugly, in fact. "Hey, come here," she crooned.

"But I'm ugly," he said.

"No, you're not. _I'm_ far uglier than you," Ahsoka reassured him.

"DARN YOU PIGS!" a voice shouted from nearby. The Jedi turned to see a small brick house. Outside was a wolf-like creature. It looked very angry and very hungry. "You can't hide in there forever! I'll get you one day! I'll huff and puff and what's the use?"

"Keep walking," Anakin mumbled. The four followed the girl a little further. "How much longer do we need to walk? Is your place really that far away?"

"We're almost there," she said. "If you would quit making stops, we'd be there sooner."

As they continued on, a little frog hopped into their path. It wore a crown on its head. "Are you serious? Is that thing really wearing a crown? Where the kriff are we?" Kit demanded.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," the girl said. "Keep moving."

"But who is that?" Ahsoka asked.

"The frog prince. He was turned into a frog and no one knows how to turn him back."

Before anyone could comment further, a pretty girl in a little red jacket skipped by with a basket. "Hi there!" she said. "I'm going to Grandma's house!"

"We don't care," Anakin said.

The girl shrugged and skipped along. They didn't know this, but she skipped right toward the brick house where the pigs were. No connection. Well, maybe there was. Oh, come on. When you have two fairy tales with wolves in them, isn't it fair to assume that the wolf got tired of huffing and puffing to no avail and decided to prey on a little girl instead? It's possible, okay? Just go with it.

The Jedi finally arrived at the girl's room. They inspected it for anything suspicious, but found nothing. "It's just an ordinary room," Kit said. "Why can't you sleep?"

"I don't know!" she said, dismayed. "Will I ever get to sleep again?"

"Perhaps there's something wrong with the mattress," Ahsoka suggested.

"That's silly," Kit said. "Why would the mattress keep her from sleeping? It seems perfectly fine to me."

Ahsoka laid on it. "You're right. It does feel fine."

"Let me try," a new voice said. A girl with a pink dress and long blonde hair approached them. "You said you can't sleep on it?" She laid on the bed and passed out immediately.

"Leave it to Sleeping Beauty," the girl mused. "Seriously, though. There's something wrong with my bed. I just can't figure out what."

"Can I try?" another girl asked.

"Cinderella? Sure," the first girl said. "Be my guest."

Cinderella removed Princess Aurora from the bed and laid on it herself. After fifteen minutes, she shook her head. "I can't sleep on it," she said.

"Let's check out the mattress, then," Ahsoka suggested. She lifted it with the Force. "It looks fine to me."

"Look!" Cinderella exclaimed. "A pea! No wonder you couldn't sleep on it. No Princess can sleep with a pea under her mattress!"

"But I thought she was a princess," Anakin said, pointing to the sleeping form of Princess Aurora.

"Sleeping Beauty can sleep on anything," the girl said dismissively. "Can someone remove the pea for me?" Kit rolled his eyes and moved it away with the Force. "Thank you!" She jumped onto the bed and fell asleep in seconds.

"This place is too weird," Anakin said.

"Agreed. Let's go."

The Portal appeared and took them away.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the fairy tales mentioned in this chapter, nor do I own Star Wars. I also don't own the definition of a cloud.**


	15. The Planetary Tea Party

**Well, here it is! You guys probably read the title and were like "Uh-oh." Yes, be afraid! Anyways, I updated a little early because I'm so excited about the turning point in my other fic, _Invasion_. Feel free to read it if you have time. I'm on the edge of my seat, and it's my own writing! XD**

**Whip-Owl: Don't worry about it. A lot of people like shorter chapters. Mine really aren't that long compared to some other fics I've seen. I try to keep it between four and seven word document pages with Verdana pt. 9 font. Seriously, though, if you feel that you've got what you need down, you don't have to make it a long chapter.**

**Guest: Update the chapters in sync? You mean _Invasion _and _The Portal of Destiny_? Eh, I feel like it's the best thing to do.**

**Ayy Kaim: YAY the Guest thing is finally gone! And random-fan is right here. I relayed the message, though I am too far away to hit her. I'm too lazy to get up, so I settled for threatening her. Oh, Loki. *sigh* What are we going to do with him? XD**

**AaylaKit: Very true. Good thing they left when they did! And yeah, you have no idea how badly I want to do Asgard. I'm afraid some jerk would report my story, just like someone reported one of my favorite fics once and almost a second time. You're from Jotunheim now? Loki's birthplace! He hates it, though. I'm sure you noticed, considering he tried to _destroy_ it…**

* * *

Anakin, Kit, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka stepped through the Portal in the same manner they had the last time. As soon as they emerged, they each felt the same sensation. There was a sense of formality and decorum in the air. The area they were in had neat, well-trimmed grass and rows upon rows of large, majestic houses that looked very similar if not exactly alike.

"I don't like it," Kit said. "Let's go."

"We don't have that option," Obi-Wan pointed out. "The Portal hasn't come back to pick us up. Evidently, we are meant to stay here a little longer."

"I still don't like it," Kit repeated.

"I do not appreciate your presence either," a new voice said. A tall man walked out in a robe and slippers. He had his black hair combed neatly to the side, his face was smooth, and his hands manicured to perfection. Even his mustache was perfect. "What, might I ask, are you doing trespassing on my lawn?" Before the Jedi could reply, he added, "And _why_ are you dressed like that?"

"Glad to meet you, too," Ahsoka mumbled.

"Why are _you_ dressed like _that_?" Anakin asked, turning the man's question around on him.

"I was about to get dressed for the party, of course, but your stomping around in my freshly-cut grass compelled me to come out here to investigate."

"And what's your name again?" Kit asked, hinting at the fact that the man was yelling at them without even giving a proper introduction of himself.

"How rude of me. My name is Samuel Jefferson Wellington the Fourth."

"Sam," Anakin decided aloud.

The man shook his head, clearly in disagreement.

"Okay, how about Sam-Four?" Kit suggested. When the others gave him a funny look, he shrugged and said, "What? There's probably a Samuel Jefferson Wellington the Third. And a Samuel Jefferson Welling the Second. Ooh _and_ a Samuel Jefferson Wellington! So you've got Sam, Sam-Two, Sam-Three, and Sam-Four! Simple."

Sam-Four's frown deepened. "Whatever you prefer," he said stiffly. "I'm sure my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather would take deep offense."

"Do you have a son?" Ahsoka asked.

"Yes, of course. His name is—"

"Samuel Jefferson Wellington the Fifth?" Anakin suggested.

"How'd you know?" Sam-Four asked at the same time that Kit said, "No, Sam-Five."

"We'd like to meet him," Ahsoka said politely.

"Very well. Samuel, come out here, please."

A small, seven-year-old boy walked shyly out of the house. His hair was blond and combed neatly to the side like his father's. He wore a tuxedo with really shiny shoes to match. "Hello there," he said formally.

"Sammy," Kit said. "I'm calling him Sammy and I'm tempted to mess up his hair and take him to the lake or something. This boy needs to learn how to swim!"

"That was random," Anakin said.

"Tis the Fisto Way," Kit said, shrugging.

"Daddy, I want to go swimming!" the boy said eagerly, his façade of primness fading. "Can I _please_ go with them?"

"No, I forbid you to sully yourself before the big party," Sam-Four said with finality. "Go back inside and wait for me. I still need to get dressed. Our _guests_ were just leaving."

Kit made a face. "So, what, you're Mr. Prim and Proper and yet you don't even have the courtesy to entertain four innocent visitors?"

"I have a party to get to," Sam-Four scowled, then sighed. "Very well. It is a planetary custom to entertain any and all guests, no matter how filthy they may be. Will you at least do me the pleasure of taking baths?"

The Jedi did not like the idea of bathing in a stranger's home, but they were pretty messy from traveling to different worlds. "We accept your offer," Obi-Wan said. "Would it be appropriate for us to accompany you to the party?"

"Certainly," Sam-Four said stiffly. "I'd like it if you were on your best behavior, though. I do not want to be embarrassed by my choice of guests."

"You didn't choose us," Kit pointed out.

"No, I didn't, and thank the stars I didn't."

* * *

The Jedi declined Sam-Four's offer of nicer clothes. They preferred their robes so that if any trouble arose, they could take care of it. Tuxedos were so…restricting. There was no way that they'd be able to fight in them. Plus, Kit pointed out, there was nothing big enough to contain his awesome muscles.

They traveled by limo to the party. Kit was tense the entire time. He hated being in small spaces. Anakin was used to it, as he spent a lot of his time in cockpits. He preferred to be the driver rather than the passenger, though. Obi-Wan and Ahsoka just went with the flow.

"We have arrived," Sam-Four said. "As my guests, I ask you to remain near me, yet feel free to roam around as you wish. I will not hold you back. And if you want to leave, do not hesitate."

The Jedi nodded and got out of the car. They were immediately surrounded by well-dressed people. Though the party was outside, everything was arranged so neatly that they might as well have been inside. The music was formal, the dress was formal…_everything_ was formal.

"Caroline, how are you?" Sam-Four greeted a beautiful woman dressed in gray.

"I am doing very well, Samuel," she replied. "Are these your guests?"

"They are. This is Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Kit Fisto, and Ahsoka Tano," Sam-Four introduced them. They were surprised that he had remembered all of their names, as they had told him in the limo.

"Hi there," Ahsoka said.

"What is _that?"_ the woman asked, pointing at Kit. "And _that_?" She pointed at Ahsoka.

"Pointing is very rude," Kit said.

She gasped as if she'd been burnt. "You're right! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, I…I don't know what came over me!"

"Chillax," Kit said, raising his hands. "You're fine."

"Rudeness is frowned upon here," Sammy explained. "That's why Zeph—"

"Do not speak of my son here," Caroline said sharply. "I have three lovely daughters. Talk about them if you wish, but do _not_ refer to my son."

"Sorry, ma'am," Sammy said, shuffling his feet self-consciously.

Ahsoka was immediately curious. "Hey, Sammy, can you show me that fountain over there? It looks really cool."

"Can I, father?" Sammy asked.

"Go on ahead. I would like to discuss important matters with Caroline here. Run along, but do not get wet or dirty."

Sammy nodded and took Ahsoka to the fountain. "It's great, isn't it?" he asked.

"Yes," Ahsoka agreed. "Now…who's this 'Zeph' person?" she asked. "Don't worry—I won't tell anyone that you're speaking of him."

Sammy hesitated, then sighed. "Zephyr is Caroline's son. He is…different than the rest of us."

"Different? How?"

"Well, for starters, I actually have personality," a stranger replied for Sammy. Ahsoka turned around to see a tall teenage boy dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans. He had jet-black shoulder-length hair and pale skin. "I don't follow the crowd and I'm a wicked guitar player," the boy continued.

"W-what are _you_ doing here?" Sammy asked timidly. He started shaking as if the newcomer was going to bite. "You're not supposed to be here! You're supposed to be—"

"Cooped up in my room, shunned from the world?" Zephyr sneered. "No thanks. Just because you people are too afraid to accept change doesn't mean I have to put up with being hid from everyone else due to my mom's _embarrassment_."

"She coops you up because she's embarrassed of you?" Ahsoka asked, feeling a stab of sympathy. "Wow. Are there others like you?"

"No. I'm the only one. It's hard to live life amongst a bunch of mindless prims, but I've crashed my share of parties."

"We could help you," Kit said, walking up with the other two. "We could get a dance party started or something."

"You'd do that?" Zephyr's eyes lit up.

"Yeah!" Kit said. "Maybe these guys will lighten up if they see that change isn't so bad."

"It's worth a shot," Zephyr said, shrugging. "I've got my guitar right here. What's the plan?"

"I'll DJ," Anakin offered. "Kit, hand me your iPod. While you're at it, be sure to breakdance or something for us. Obi-Wan, sing. Ahsoka—help Zephyr get set up without anyone seeing. Any questions? No? Good."

The plan was launched into action. Anakin turned off the radio and connected Kit's iPod to the speakers. Everyone looked around, trying to figure out why the music had stopped. Anakin nodded at Kit, who nodded back. Everyone was ready, minus the partygoers, who were downright confused. "Let's get this party started!" Anakin shouted. "For real this time!" He started a song and cranked up the volume.

"Nice choice," Kit said as "I Like it Like That" blared across the area. He started dancing in time with the music as Zephyr jumped out from behind the bushes and played the guitar at all the right moments to make the song perfectly awesome.

"I knew Zephyr would be behind this!" Sam-Four yelled.

"Zephyr! Get over here _now_!" Caroline shouted.

"No, Mom! Listen to the music for _just a minute_ and give it a chance, will you? These guys have taste that you seem to lack. Just give me a shot, just this once!"

The song continued and, gradually, people started to dance to it. By the time it was over, most of the guests were enjoying themselves. Anakin played "Sorry For Party Rocking" next.

"This one is appropriate," he said. "This is what we say to people like you that mess up our groove!"

"_Sorry for Party Rocking_!" the Jedi and Zephyr chanted as the song began.

By the time the party was over, the prim and proper men and women and children were finally loosening up. Caroline beamed at her son and everyone finally got the idea that a change in plans was okay every once in a while.

"Our work here is done," Kit said as the Portal appeared. The Jedi waved goodbye and stepped through the Portal (well, Kit kind of trust-fell into it because he's just awesome that way).

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own "I Like it Like That" by Hot Chelle Rae or "Sorry for Party Rocking" by LMFAO. I do not own Star Wars either.**

**AN: Yes, there was a moral to that chapter. I'm not going to get all preachy or anything. Just enjoy the story. XD**


	16. Montage

**I'm thinking I should end this story soon, because I'm feeling a steady decline in the quality of the chapters. Probably because I'm so busy obsessing over getting _Invasion_ chapters up that I'm not paying much attention to this fic. I'm just so distracted lately and I apologize that the latest chapters aren't as funny as the earlier ones. So, here is the second or third to last chapter. I haven't decided yet. It's a montage of sorts. I'm combining the rest of my planet ideas into one big chapter. Hope you like it!**

**Pergjithshme: Haha yeah, that chapter kind of wrote itself if you know what I mean. I started out writing it, then let the ideas come to me. The result was…well…that.**

**AaylaKit: Yeah, I see where you're going there. _Sorry for Party Rocking_ just sounded so appropriate for the situation, you know?**

**Ayy Kaim: That planet was difficult to write, I'll admit it. You've got family in England? HOW AWESOME IS THAT? :D Wow, people in my school are immature, but they don't do _that_. Hmm, I'm not sure if that'd make you Ayy-Two. I'll leave that up to you. _Or_ you could ask Kit. I'm sure he'll have an answer. Haha, Loki. He _would_ do that. I'm not sure if you read Chapter 11 in _Invasion_, but Loki has an epic moment of epicnicity that makes me fangirl like crazy. AaylaKit can tell you. It was awesome.**

**DarkAngel620: The Emperor was from the fairy tale called "The Emperor's New Clothes" or something like that, in which tailors pretend to make new clothes for him and say that they're invisible only to him. So he thinks he has beautiful new robes and parades through the streets in his underwear. Everyone is too afraid to do anything but compliment him until a little boy laughs at him and he gets all embarrassed and runs home.**

**Cult of Personality: So…you're my 99th AND 100th reviewer. Congratulations, bro! And yes, Kit is beast as kriff. He's also epic and awesome like a boss. :D**

**Whip-Owl: It took me awhile to come up with a title and I finally settled for that one. Ha, it _would_ have sucked if there was actual tea. Kit would've had a fit, probably.**

* * *

Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka tumbled out of the Portal. Anakin stood up, and the first thing he saw was Kit falling backward out of the Portal. His eyes followed Kit all the way to the ground. His back hit it _hard_ with a dull _thud_. That looked like it hurt.

Kit made a groaning noise. "_Dude_, you were supposed to catch me! That's the whole _point_ of the trust fall!"

Anakin shrugged. "Sorry. Wait…" He stared at Kit, who had changed color the moment he hit the ground. "Why are you a purplish-red?"

"_What_?" Kit stared at his hand in shock, then looked up at Anakin. "Don't judge! You and Obi-Wan are _blue_!"

Anakin gasped and looked at Obi-Wan. "Whoa. Nice. Hey, Snips! Look at me."

Ahsoka turned around. She was mostly green. "What does this mean?" she asked.

"It means we're on some type of inverted-colors planet," Obi-Wan said.

"Okay." Anakin looked at the red grass and the orangish-tanish sky. "Now what?"

"We should leave," Ahsoka said. "This is boring." She turned around to see that the Portal was back already. "It's…green," she said, staring at it. It was indeed a very light green as opposed to its normal pink glow. "This planet has everything flipped around! Even the _Portal_!"

"Well, let's go." Kit stepped through this time, knowing that if he trust-fell, he would injure his back. Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka exchanged glances, shrugged, and joined him.

* * *

For the next planet, the Portal appeared on the ground. The Jedi did not understand why until they felt themselves rising upward.

"Uh-oh. This can't be good!" Anakin said anxiously. "Is this some kind of Anti-Gravity planet?"

"Must be," Obi-Wan said. "Do you think it's low on gravity, or is there no gravity at all?"

"I'm not sure. Either way, we're getting higher," Kit said.

As they floated further and further up, they began to grow panicked. What if they floated into space? Before they got a chance to worry about this, the Portal appeared above them, taking them to a different dimension.

* * *

This time, when they landed, they felt the opposite of the Anti-Gravity. Their bodies felt heavy and it was difficult to get up from a horizontal position.

"Master…Master?" Ahsoka mumbled blearily.

Anakin yawned. "Yes, Ahsoka?"

"Where are we?" She looked around, but her vision was blurring and her eyelids were as heavy as her limbs. "I…can't…focus…"

"You're on the Sleepy Planet!" a voice said cheerfully. "Whenever travelers come here, they fall asleep." The Jedi looked up to see a hazy thing that looked somewhat like a male Fairy. His voice sounded very strange. Perhaps it was just because they were exhausted. When no one responded, he said, "In other words, they fall asleep and do not wake up."

This got Kit's attention, but the other three were too tired to take it in. "Never wake up?" Kit fought sleep as hard as he could. "Guys, don't…fall…asleep!"

Anakin hit the ground and closed his eyes. Kit grabbed his shoulder and shook it with as much energy as he could muster (which wasn't much, considering that it was slowly draining).

"There's nothing you can do," the creature said. "Your energy will slowly diminish until you have no choice but to give in to sleep. Just let it overtake you. You will then be taken into a world of eternal dreams."

"You mean we won't even die? We'll just be trapped in another dimension?" Kit shook Anakin harder. "Don't let it take you! Don't give in!"

The creature laughed. "It is always entertaining to watch new victims fall under the pressure of sleep. It is just too ironic. You thrive on sleep—you need it to live—and now you are falling victim to it."

"Shut up!" Kit glanced backward and saw the Portal waiting for them. "We must get to the Portal, guys," he said, his voice getting softer as his body grew more exhausted. He pulled Anakin onto his back and crawled desperately toward freedom. Ahsoka and Obi-Wan watched him lazily, then copied him. At last, before the creature could stop it, the Portal sucked them in the rest of the way.

* * *

They tumbled out in a heap. Anakin was still on top of Kit. It took a few minutes for their energy to restore, but it did at last.

"Anakin?" Kit pulled the Jedi Knight off of him and saw that he was unconscious. "Oh, no! We're too late! Obi-Wan, look!"

Obi-Wan crawled over and looked down at Anakin's sleeping form. "I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I should have tried to help you get us out of there…I was just so…_disoriented_."

"We all were," Kit said, waving away his apology.

Obi-Wan shook his former padawan as Kit had done on the Sleepy Planet. "Get up. Anakin, _please_…"

Anakin opened his eyes and coughed. "Hey, guys," he murmured groggily. "What happened?"

Ahsoka let out a sigh of relief and Obi-Wan wiped a tear from his eye. "Don't worry about it," he said. "I'm just glad you're okay." He looked around and saw a man walk up to them. "Let's ask him where we are," he suggested. "Excuse me, sir?"

The man looked their way. "Excuse me, sir?" he repeated Obi-Wan.

"…Okay. Where are we?"

"…Okay. Where are we?"

"Are you mocking me?" Obi-Wan demanded.

"Are you mocking me?" the man answered in the same tone.

"Forget it. Let's look somewhere else." Obi-Wan helped Anakin up and the four of them turned away.

"No, wait! I was just kidding. It's a game, see." The man rushed over to them. "Hi!"

"Hey," Kit said. "What's up?"

The man looked offended. "I don't know! I'm not good at math!"

Kit glanced at the others. "Okaaaaay. Um, where are we?"

"You're right in front of me," the guy said, sounding confused.

"We're getting nowhere," Anakin scowled.

"Well, _obviously_. You just standing there, so how could you be getting anywhere? I'm not _that_ dumb," the stranger said.

"Are you getting smart with me? You wanna go?" Anakin loomed threateningly over him.

"Go where?"

Anakin facepalmed. "Never mind. Obviously we've found the Planet of the Idiots." He turned to see the Portal and stepped in. The man's eyes bugged out and he watched as the other three followed.

"Dang, that thing's shiny!" He ran toward it, but it disappeared before he could go in. He fell in a heap on the ground and looked around, puzzled. "Why am I on the ground? Oh look, a penny!"

* * *

The next planet was creepy like the Evil Planet. The Jedi found themselves in the middle of a graveyard.

"What gives?" Kit asked. "Aren't creepy graveyards and full moons a little…cliché?"

Ahsoka's eyes widened. "Yeah…and aren't _zombies_ not real?"

"That depends on a lot of things, Snips," Anakin explained. "Sometimes, when someone uses voodoo magic, they can bring corpses back to life, and therefore—"

"_Master, look, there are zombies coming straight for us!_" Ahsoka screamed, clutching Anakin's arm.

Sure enough, a horde of zombified corpses were walking slowly toward the little band of Jedi. They even made the creepy sound effects that zombies make when they are hungry.

"Well, what do you know?" Anakin asked, plastering a fake smile to his face. He put a hand on his lightsaber, but Obi-Wan stopped him.

"It won't be any use here," he said warningly.

"So we're just going to let ourselves be devoured?" Anakin asked.

"No, we're going to go through the Portal," Kit said. "Ladies first! Move, Ahsoka, move!"

Ahsoka jumped through without hesitation. Anakin hoped that their zombie friends would not follow them through it. Considering no one has done so yet, it was likely that the creatures would not. But still, it was a possibility that Anakin did not want to mentally imagine. Once Ahsoka was through, he dove in, followed by Kit and Obi-Wan.

* * *

"Are we good?" Anakin realized that his eyes were closed and his hands were clenched into fists.

Kit laughed. "Yes, Anakin. We're fine. Why're you so afraid of zombies?"

Anakin shrugged. "Not sure. Anyway, where are we this time?"

A droid rolled up and beeped at him. "It looks like Artoo," Ahsoka said.

Anakin shook his head. "No droid looks like Artoo. He's one of a kind."

The Jedi looked around them. They were surrounded by droids of different shapes and sizes. The whole planet was made up of droids rolling, flying, and fixing things. There wasn't a live being in sight. Anakin, Kit, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka were the only living things within parsecs.

"Um, this is interesting," Kit said. "Glad we saw that. Yep. Really cool."

Anakin yawned. "It's not like we don't have tons of those back home."

"Yeah. Let's get going." Kit snapped and the Portal appeared.

The other three stared at him. "You can do that? Why didn't you do this all along?" Obi-Wan asked.

Kit turned around. "Huh? Oh, wow." He stared at his hands. "I think that was merely coincidental. I doubt I have the power to summon the Portal of Destiny. It summons itself. It's like it has a mind of its own. And right about now, it wants us to step the kriff through already so we can get to the next world."

As they stepped through, Anakin wondered how many more worlds they would visit before he got to go home to Padmé.

* * *

As soon as they stepped out of the Portal, they were bombarded by people that spoke in different languages. They didn't seem to understand each other. "Does anyone speak Basic?" Anakin shouted over the mass of people. Everyone stared at him as if he was insane. "Anyone? No? Okay." He pointed to his chest. "Anakin." He pointed to Obi-Wan. "Obi-Wan." He did the same with Ahsoka and Kit. He did a circle with his hand, motioning to the group as a whole. "Jedi."

The group continued to stare, then started shouting in different languages again.

"Stop it, we can't understand you!" Anakin shouted, frustrated.

"Let me try," Kit said. He started speaking one of his native languages, Anselmian. One of the people there started talking back in the same language, though he could barely be heard above the others that continued to speak rapid gibberish. "He says that it is impossible to live here because he cannot understand anyone," Kit shouted over the noise. "He is relieved to find someone who speaks his language."

Anakin frowned thoughtfully. "Right now, I need quiet so I can think." He used a hand gesture to indicate that he wanted them all to leave. The group stared at him a moment, then, little by little, they dispersed. "Finally. Some peace." He faced a big guy with gigantic muscles and covered in tattoos. "Beat it, dude," he said. The guy shouted something in his language. It sounded like nonsense. Anakin sighed, having had enough of this. "Maka mian gana gana lo mo tron! Gan."

The guy's eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. He lunged at Anakin, missing his face by inches as the Jedi Knight ducked. "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" the dude yelled.

"What did you say to him?" Ahsoka demanded.

"I don't know!" Anakin shouted.

"Whatever it is, you offended him," Obi-Wan said, stating the obvious.

Kit laughed. He had to admit that the sight was pretty funny. Anakin dodging blows from a big muscle-dude. Priceless. "Are you a Jedi or what? Use the Force, Anakin!"

Anakin had that "Oh, yeah" look on his face as he reached out in the Force to push his attacker away. He was not quick enough, however. The angry man lifted Anakin in the air by his feet and slammed him multiple times into the ground. When he was finished, he stomped away, mumbling under his breath in his language.

Obi-Wan rushed to Anakin's side. "Anakin? Anakin, are you okay?"

Anakin groaned. "Mom? Is that you?"

Obi-Wan glanced up at Kit, who rolled his eyes. "I got it." He leaned over and made like he was about to give Anakin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Anakin immediately jerked away and used his arms to shuffle himself backward several feet. "I'm fine, I'm _fine_!" he said a little too loudly.

"Don't worry, I wouldn't _dream_ of kissing you," Kit said, his voice filed with disgust. "If you hadn't reacted like that, I would have punched you in the nose and called you gay for the rest of your life."

"Very nice," Obi-Wan said drily. "Can we just get out of here, please?"

"Gladly," Kit said, helping Anakin up. "There's the Portal. Let's go."

* * *

The Jedi stepped out of the Portal, Kit in the lead. Kit looked around and smiled. "Hey, guys? Remember on the Hug-Me-Bear Planet when I told you that it was my second planet, and you, Anakin, asked me what the first one was?"

Anakin nodded. "Yeah…?"

"Well," Kit said, grinning, "this was my first one."

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.**

**AN: If you want an image of Anakin being smashed by the guy on the Foreign Language Planet, then watch the Hulk smash Loki in the Avengers. XD Anyway, sorry if this chapter wasn't that good. I felt kind of zoned out as I wrote it. I really wanted to update tonight, so I worked on it to the best of my ability. I hope you like it anyway!**


	17. Unforgettable

**Well, this is it! I apologize deeply for the awful last chapter. This one is better, I hope, because I put more work and thought into it. I wasn't surprised to find a couple of you disappointed, but it did surprise me to see some positive reviews. I'm skeptical to say that I'm doing well, but at least it isn't so terrible that I'm getting flames. :) Anyways, you'll notice in the beginning that I copied the ending of the last chapter. I did that on purpose. Tis a writing technique of some sort that I do not know the name of. Enjoy!**

**Ayy Kaim: Glad you liked it! And don't feel bad. I'm just happy that you read it. :)**

**DarkAngel620: I know. It's getting harder to write as I run out of ideas. As for the planet…Horrible? No. Weird? That depends on your perspective.**

**Pergjithshme: Ah, that was you. It said Guest so I wasn't sure who it was. Well, I've reached the end of the road in this fic, so it's a little late to put it on hold now. I wish I'd taken that advice sooner, but this chapter is better, I'm sure. I sincerely apologize for cheating everyone out of a potentially good fic but, now that I think about it, I'm not sure that I would've been able to do much better than that had I put my heart and soul into it. The whole story just kind of ran out of juice, so I have to finish it out as strongly as possible. Haha yeah, I was thinking of the Wizard of Oz when I did the Sleepy Planet bit.**

**Above the Winter Moonlight: Yeah, this is the last one. I'm glad you like it, because I'm losing faith in my own writing and it's nice to find someone who still enjoys it.**

**AaylaKit: Yeah, poor Loki…*sob* I hope that this planet does not disappoint. It's pretty interesting. Wait…how does this story help you know when Invasion is updated?**

**Whip-Owl: Phew, thanks for understanding. I was so afraid I'd get a bunch of flames on that chapter. I'd recommend either **_**Pwning and Gaming**_** or **_**Invasion**_**. **_**Pwning and Gaming**_** was a huge hit that was basically about what would happen if the Jedi had a video game day during the Clone Wars. Each chapter is a different video game. **_**Invasion**_** is about Count Dooku invading the Earth after the Avengers movie, in which the Avengers have to assemble again to defeat him. Loki is involved. A lot. I won't say which side he's on, so as not to spoil it. ;) _Invasion_ is still in progress. _Pwning and Gaming_ is complete.**

* * *

The Jedi stepped out of the Portal, Kit in the lead. Kit looked around and smiled. "Hey, guys? Remember on the Hug-Me-Bear Planet when I told you that it was my second planet, and you, Anakin, asked me what the first one was?"

Anakin nodded. "Yeah…?"

"Well," Kit said, grinning, "this was my first one."

Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows and looked around. They were standing in sand, though it was no ordinary sandy beach. The ocean was pure, clear, and blue and islands of various sizes dotted it. Based on the direction they were facing, the ocean was on the right, and a large pool was on the left, several yards up. Palm trees blew in the wind and slides twisted in the air, offering a fun entrance to the ocean.

"Where are we?" Ahsoka asked, taking in the scene in the same way that Obi-Wan was.

"I call it—" Kit began, but was cut off by a tall, beautiful girl in a pink bikini. She had the cliché look with her long, curly blonde hair, smooth, slightly-tanned skin, and long eyelashes over bright blue eyes.

"Who's your _friend_, Kit?" she gushed, wrapping one arm around Obi-Wan's neck and placing the other hand on his chest.

Anakin's mouth dropped open. Since when was _Obi-Wan_ the attractive one? Ah, well. He, Anakin, was married anyway. Plus, it was only one girl. She could have forgotten her contacts or something.

Kit laughed, noticing Anakin's expression. "As I was saying, I call this planet—"

More girls rushed over before Kit could continue. There were blondes like the first one, but there were also many others. Some had brown hair, others black or red or dyed. Most of them were tanned by the hot sun, but a few had pale skin. Each one wore bikinis of different colors and styles. All of them had eyes for Obi-Wan.

"You probably figured this out by now, but I call it the Bikini Planet," Kit said, chuckling.

"Yeah, I can see why," Anakin said dryly.

"What's eating you, Master?" Ahsoka asked.

"He's jealous that they don't find him as hot as Obi-Wan," Kit said quickly before Anakin could respond. There was a twinkle of mischief in the Nautolan's eye.

"I am _not_ jealous," Anakin objected.

"_Denial_," Kit and Ahsoka said in unison. They turned to each other and raised their hands in sync to slap a high-five.

Anakin rolled his eyes and grunted, not indicating whether they were correct in their assumption or not. They were wrong, of course, though he could not prove them wrong without revealing his marriage to Padmé. "Attachment is forbidden," he found himself saying. "Obi-Wan knows this."

"Of course I do!" Obi-Wan said, his voice muffled from all the girls who were laying their hands on him. "Anakin, help me!"

"For goodness sake, give the man some space," Anakin called. "How's he going to swim with you girls if you have him in the middle of a mob there? He can't hang with _all_ of you!" The girls did not move away, so Anakin whipped out his lightsaber and ignited it. "This is my Schwartz," he said. "Do _not_ make me use this."

"Anakin!" Kit scolded.

"What? What did you _think_ I was referring to, Kit?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Dirty mind much?"

Kit shrugged. "Just making sure you were keeping your concepts under control there. This is a T-rated fic."

The girls reluctantly began to back away. One stayed behind, though. She had long, straight, dark brown hair and bangs covering her forehead. Despite the fact that she wore a bikini and resided near a pool and a crystal blue ocean, she had tons of makeup plastered to her face. Her skin was pale and her eyes were blue-gray. "Hi," she said, facing Obi-Wan. She took out a marker, grabbed his arm, and started writing on it. He was too polite to pull away.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Well, I know we just met and all…_and_ this is pretty crazy, but…I wrote my number on your arm here, so maybe you could call me or something?" Her eyes were filled with hope.

Kit's eyes widened. "_Why_ does this sound familiar?"

"I don't know, Kit. Why do you listen to that song?" Anakin inquired.

"What song?—_Oh_, that makes sense." Kit laughed. "Gotcha."

"All right, um, go join your friends now, please," Obi-Wan said.

"You mean them?" The girl gestured behind her, where the girls had assembled.

They started chanting and clapping their hands. "Take your shirt off!" _Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap_, "_Take your shirt off!_" _Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap_, "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF!" _Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap_.

"It's a mother-kriffing _tunic_! Get it _right_!" Anakin shouted.

"Sorry, girls," Kit said, ignoring Anakin. "With the way our clothes are designed, it'd take a _whole_ lot more than that to get his chest exposed."

"That's fine with me!" the girl who had offered her number shrieked. "Girls?"

They all cheered.

"What _is_ this? A standing ovation?" Anakin demanded.

"Calm down, Master," Ahsoka said, putting a hand on his arm. "Obi-Wan's not going to take his shirt off."

"It's a tunic."

"Whatever. Either way, why are you so jealous?" she pressed.

Anakin shrugged. "I'm not jealous." He just missed Padmé. Seeing these girls love up on his former mentor, his friend, his _brother_…It was too much. He wanted to go home to his wife. He was used to being away from her, but this Portal was so unpredictable that he didn't think he'd ever make it back. Panic rushed into his veins. What is he _never saw Padmé again_? What then? He would break, that's what would happen.

"Master?" Ahsoka was shaking Anakin. "Master! Are you okay?"

"What? Yes, of course." He looked around to see that the girls were still cheering.

"Come on, hot stuff!" the number-girl shouted.

"Hot stuff, hot stuff, hot stuff!" the other girls chanted.

"His name is Obi-Wan," Anakin said, running a hand frustratedly through his hair.

The girls exchanged glances, pausing for a moment. The silence only lasted for a few seconds, though, before they chanted, "Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan!"

Anakin facepalmed. Kit grinned. "You do it like this." He cast his robe down and worked on removing articles of clothing. "It's so hot out here." Soon, he was down to just his pants. Robe and boots and other intricate parts of his outfit were on the ground. "Cowabunga!" He grabbed a surfboard from the sand and dove into the ocean. Soon, he was riding the biggest wave Anakin had ever seen. He was on both feet one moment, then on his hands the next. A big grin was spread across his face. "You're missing the fun!" he shouted.

The girls turned their attention to the surfing Kit, but not for long. They went straight back to repeating Obi-Wan's name. Kit was clearly irritated.

"Dude, look at _me_! Obi-Wan's being boring. I'm over here, surfing on _one hand_!" Kit yelled.

"_You _should surf, Obi-Wan!" the girl who had written her number suggested. She seemed to be the representative of the group, because the girls started chanting at him to surf.

"I don't surf," Obi-Wan said. "I could if I wanted to, but I'd rather not."

Obi-Wan was right. Being a Jedi, he could do a lot of amazing things, surfing included. Anakin doubted that his former Master would want to surf, though, considering he didn't even like Anakin's "eccentric" and "extreme" piloting skills. "Obi-Wan would never surf for you," he said. "He doesn't even like flying."

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "How many time do I have to tell you that I _don't mind flying_?" he asked. "I just don't like your particular _style_ of flying."

Anakin grinned. "You still can't surf, though."

"You _know_ I can surf!"

"Then prove it."

"Fine. But I'm _not_ removing my clothes," Obi-Wan said, accepting the challenge.

"Fine with me. I'll save your life—again—if you drown. Then I'll pull you out and laugh at you. Dude, your clothes will weigh you down. Not that I _want_ you to expose anything, but…" He shrugged. "In fact, don't remove anything. I don't want those girls to have heart attacks."

Obi-Wan wasn't sure if that was a compliment or not, but he took it anyway and grabbed a surfboard. What happened next was too awesome for words. Obi-Wan pwned the waves, surfing side-by-side with Kit, who finally got some attention. Kit jumped onto Obi-Wan's board at the same time that Obi-Wan jumped onto Kit's. They did handstands and flips and a variety of other tricks that captivated the audience.

Finally, they leapt from the surfboards in sync, using the Force to propel them all the way to the assembled group. They bowed together, initiating claps and cheers from the girls and a nod of approval from Anakin.

"Good job," Anakin said, grinning. He did not forget about Padmé completely, but the distraction was nice.

"Do it again, do it again!" the girls shouted.

"No thanks," Obi-Wan said, smiling widely. "We've got other places to go and other people to see." He jerked his head toward the Portal.

"But we want to come with you! At least take _me_," the number-girl begged.

"Nope, sorry. Rules are rules," Anakin said. "No Jedi-loving allowed. After you, Master."

Obi-Wan did something very uncharacteristic. He winked and did that thing with his hands that movie stars do, in which he points his fingers like guns at the audience. The audience in question fainted, as audiences do when movie stars do that gesture. Anakin stared at him as he walked into the Portal as if he owned it.

"Um…I think Obi-Wan's self-confidence just got a major boost," Kit said. "_I'm_ going to walk away now…" He stepped through next, not even glancing backward at the heap of girls on the ground.

Anakin nodded. "Uh, yeah. Come on, Snips."

* * *

Obi-Wan was the first to step out of the Portal. He found himself in a small meditation room. Could it be…?

Kit bumped into him. "What are you staring at?"

"I think we're—" Obi-Wan began.

Anakin and Ahsoka joined them. When the Portal disappeared, Mace Windu walked in. "I have that mission decided for you, Kenobi, and I want Skywalker to accompany you."

Anakin shook his head, too tired to even think about work at the moment. "Do you have any idea where we've _been_?"

Mace frowned. "Waiting for me to assign you a mission?"

"We've been gone for days," Obi-Wan said.

Mace looked at him like he was crazy. "You've been gone a few minutes," he said. "I apologize for taking so long in finding a mission for you. I really do not appreciate the way you exaggerate the wait."

"But—" Anakin began.

"Don't," Obi-Wan said. It would take far too long to explain the Portal of Destiny to Mace. "We will leave right away, Master Windu."

Mace nodded. "Come with me, Fisto. We have important matters to discuss." He eyed the Nautolan, silently wondering why he was shirtless.

Kit smiled and waved good-bye to the other three. He winked and followed Mace.

Anakin turned to face Ahsoka. "Obi-Wan and I need to go," he said, "but there's one more thing I want to take care of first."

"What's that?" his apprentice asked.

Anakin smiled. "I want to see that you're studying."

* * *

**Disclaimer: For the last time, I do not own Star Wars. I also don't own the Schwartz thing from SpaceBalls or the "Call Me Maybe" reference.**

**AN: This makes "Call Me Maybe" sound pretty silly, doesn't it? Haha, it's so fun to make fun of that song. Well, that was the final chapter. I know we had our good times (and bad times) throughout this fic, but it is now time for the final farewells. For some of you, this is not goodbye, as a few of you are avid readers of my other fics. I hope you liked the last chapter and I am very open to your last thoughts. **

**Live long and prosper and may the Force be with you!**


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